Motorcycle Officer: License, lady? Maude: I don't have one. I don't believe in them. Motorcycle Officer: How long you been driving, lady? Maude: About 45 minutes, [turning to Harold] Maude: wouldn't you say, Harold? We were hoping to start sooner but...
Sid: Hey, what's your problem? Manny: *You* are my problem. Sid: Well, I think you're stressed, and that's why you eat so much. I mean, it's hard to get fat on a vegan diet. Manny: I'm not fat. It's all this fur. It makes me look... poofy. Sid: Fine....
Captain Beauvais: [pointing a pistol at Valjean with a trembling hand] Are you a convict? Is that true? Jean Valjean: Yes. Captain Beauvais: Where's the inspector in there? Jean Valjean: Inside Captain Beauvais: Did you kill him? [Valjean shakes his ...
[first lines] Leonard Shelby: [voiceover] So where are you? You're in some motel room. You just - you just wake up and you're in - in a motel room. There's the key. It feels like maybe it's just the first time you've been there, but perhaps you've be...
Ed Crane: It's like pulling away from the maze. While you're in the maze, you go through willy nilly, turning where you think you have to turn; banging into the dead ends. One thing after another. But you get some distance on it, and all those twists...
Homer: [to John] Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as t...
Linguini: [to Collete] Ngaah! Why is it so hard to talk to you? Okay! Here we go! You inspire me. I'm going to risk it all! I'm going to risk looking like the biggest idiot psycho you've ever seen! You wanna know why I'm such a fast learner? Why I'm ...
[Dwight has been pulled over by a policeman on a motorcycle, with Jackie-Boy slumped over dead in the passenger seat] Motorcycle Cop: Your buddy there... Partied a little too hard tonight? Dwight: [staring coldly at the cop] I'm the designated driver...
Alvin Straight: There's no one knows your life better than a brother that's near your age. He knows who you are and what you are better than anyone on earth. My brother and I said some unforgivable things the last time we met, but, I'm trying to put ...
Sweeney Todd: You have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? Mrs. Lovett: People think it's haunted. Sweeney Todd: Haunted? Mrs. Lovett: Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? You see, years ago, something h...
Patroller: [in a vain attempt to escape, Solomon runs into some patrollers who are fixing to hang a trio of slaves] Boy, where are you going? Solomon Northup: To the store, Sir, to Bartholomew's. I was sent there by Mistress Epps. Patroller: [the pat...
Terry Fields: Pardon me, sir, but I lost my I.D. in... in a flood and I'd like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me? Bum at Liquor Store: Why certainly! I lost my wife, too - her name wasn't Idy, though, and it wa...
Story to me is life. It’s purpose. We as humans have an the opportunity and obligation to live the most truthful story ever told, unfortunately so few ever live truthfully. They don’t follow their dreams and live lives filled with regrets and “...
If you decide to make someone the enemy and you're pushing very hard against them, you don't affect them at all, but you disconnect yourself form the Stream. If someone cheats you, they cannot diminish your experience. They only diminish their experi...
I didn't write about my mother much in the third year after she died. I was still trying to get my argument straight: When her friends or our relatives wondered why I was still so hard on her, I could really lay out the case for what it had been like...
Never underestimate the power of kindness. It is very contagious. A person whose heart is saddened by the troubles of this world, the loss of a friend or family member, a hard days work, or the struggle of provision can experience joy through a simpl...
In reading a novel, any novel, we have to know perfectly well that the whole thing is nonsense, and then, while reading, believe every word of it. Finally, when we're done with it, we may find - if it's a good novel - that we're a bit different from ...
If a mathematician wishes to disparage the work of one of his colleagues, say, A, the most effective method he finds for doing this is to ask where the results can be applied. The hard pressed man, with his back against the wall, finally unearths the...
Surely, our greatest parental hope is that our children attain a state of righteousness. It is the only sure road to happiness. But to attain such a state requires that they be decent as well as compliant. I know many, many young people who are not "...
I'll bite: Hard science TA's and RA's often repair equipment; it's part of our science. If you want a silver spoon, don't go to grad school. Science is all about dangerous chemicals, semi-safe experimental equipment, and 4am drives down gravel roads ...
Sometimes it’s hard to know when you’ve crossed the line from conscientious to compulsive. When you’re in the thick of an assignment, it’s easy to believe that you must spend so much time brainstorming, researching, writing, testing, revising...
