Oddball: Who is that guy, Crapgame? Crapgame: Him? Name's Kelly. Used to be a lieutenant, pretty good one, too, till they gave him orders to attack the wrong hill. Wiped out a half a company of G.I.'s. Somebody had to get the blame and he got picked.
[when Sid Hudgens is found dead] Bud White: What happened? Detective at Hush-Hush Office: Somebody beat him to death and stole a bunch of files. Must've dug up garbage on the wrong guy. Got it narrowed down to a thousand suspects.
Jimmy: The second way out, I need you guy's help, and that's under. Billy Hayes: You mean tunnel? Are you serious? Max: This is Shagmahr prison, not Stalag 17. Jimmy: Well that's where you're wrong fuckface, 'cause it's already built!
Mulan: Just because I look like a man doesn't mean I have to smell like one. Mushu: So a couple of guys don't rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Well, myself, I kinda like that corn chip smell.
Jimmy Serrano: This is it. Tonight is the fucking night. I am tired of all these screw-ups. As soon as I get the discs from Walsh, you guys drop Walsh and then you drop the Duke. You understand? I get the discs, you drop them.
William of Baskerville: She is already burnt flesh, Adso. Bernardo Gui has spoken: she is a witch. Adso of Melk: But that's not true, and you know it! William of Baskerville: I know. I also know that anyone who disputes the verdict of an Inquisitor i...
Rod Lane: I probably could have saved her if I'd have moved sooner. But I thought it was just another nightmare, like the one I had the night before. There was... there was this guy; he had knives for fingers.
[the rest of the crew get out of the van, with Turk and Virgil in the front; Danny stops Linus] Danny: What are you doing? Linus: I'm coming with you. Danny: No. Linus: What? Oh, no, no... [as they shut the doors on him] Linus: [shouts] Don't leave m...
Linus: The last guy they caught cheating in here? Benedict not only sent him up for 10 years, he had the bank seize his house and then he bankrupted... Rusty, Linus: -his brother-in-law's tractor dealership. Rusty: Yeah, I heard.
Kimmy: [about David] Oh, my God. He is, like, so pathetic. I can't believe you're, like, related to him! Jennifer: Only on my parents' side. Kimmy: Yeah, but you guys are, like, twins and stuff. You must be from the cool side of the uterus.
Mr. Callahan: Nothing, why don't you read first? Patrick: Alright, Chapter 1: Surviving your fascist shop teacher who needs to put kids down to feel big. Oh wow! This is useful guys, we should read on!
Albert Freedman: If you were a kid, would you wanna be an annoying Jewish guy with a side wall haircut? Charles Van Doren: Well I wanted to be Joe Dimaggio. Albert Freedman: Oh yeah, me too. Especially after he signed for that hundred grand.
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere? Joe: By choice, man.
Major T. J. "King" Kong: Goldie, how many times have I told you guys that I don't want no horsing around on the airplane?
Frank Lopez: You know what a chazzer is? Tony Montana: No, Frank, you tell me. What is a chazzer? Frank Lopez: It's a Yiddish word for "pig." See, the guy, he wants more than what he needs. He don't fly straight no more.
Pablo Sandoval: A guy can change anything. His face, his home, his family, his girlfriend, his religion,his God. But there's one thing he can't change. He can't change his passion...
Tiffany: Not that I give a fuck about football or about your superstitions, but if it's me reading the signs, I don't send the Eagles guy whose personal motto is "Excelsior," to a fucking Giants game, especially when he's already in a legal situation...
Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. Stan: Huh? Chef: Whoops.
Rex: [Rex is running to catch up with the toy car Barbie is driving] Hey guys! Wait for me! [he trips and falls face first into the backseat] Tour guide Barbie: Remain seated, please! Permanecer sentados, por favor!
Joe Turner: Ice! The murderer pours water into a .38 caliber mold, freezes it, and keeps it solid until the crime. Then he shoots the guy with the ice bullet. Cops show up, there's just a few drops of water. No bullet, no ballistics.- That's great.
Richter: I want that fucker dead! Helm: I don't blame you, man. I wouldn't want a guy like Quaid porkin' my old lady. Richter: You saying she liked it? Helm: Uh... no... I'm sure she hated every minute of it.
