My cousin cleaned out a shotgun for me and let me carry it around the house, because he said, 'Anybody who knows anything about guns is going to know in a second if someone has held a gun before.' I didn't want to be that person. I wanted to be pract...
Gru: The highest honor awarded to Dr. Nefario for your years of service, the 21-fart gun salute! [21 fart guns fire] Dr. Nefario: [coughs] Uh, I counted 22.
Kid Blue: [Waving his gun] Know why they call that peashooter of yours blunderbuss? Because it's impossible to hit anything farther than 15 yards. Impossible to miss anything closer. It's a gun for fuck-up turkeys.
Yuri Orlov: [encouraging Sierra Leonean natives to remove an illegal shipment from his cargo plane, which has been forced by Interpol to land on a dirt road] Guns, grenades, hooray! Bullets, guns, grenades! Yeah!
[Jane climbs a ladder] Frank: Nice beaver! Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
Frank: Jane, since I've met you, I've noticed things that I never knew were there before... birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.
[Frank Drebin is angrily breaking up with Jane Spencer] Frank: Oh, and one more thing... I faked every orgasm! Jane: [heartbroken] Oh, Funny Face!
Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time? Frank: Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
Jane: I was only doing what I was told to do. Frank: Like make love to me? Jane: [gasps] FRANK! [slaps him across the face]
Jane: How could you do something so vicious? Vincent Ludwig: It was easy my dear. You forget, I spent two years as a building contractor.
Frank: It's a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!
[in the midst of a fight in a Conference room, Frank wipes off Mikhail Gorbachev's birthmark. Frank looks at us] Frank: I knew it! [Frank throws Gorbachev through a wall]
[Sullivan has a gun to Kelly's head] Jack Kelly: Think, Mike. Don't be stupid. I'm just the messenger. Michael Sullivan: [lowers his gun] Then give Mr. Rooney a message for me. Jack Kelly: What is it? [Sullivan shoots him]
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that? Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish. Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers? Tommy: It's for protection. Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
Leslie Lane: [feeling his gun as she's riding on the back of his motorcycle] What'ya need a gun for? Frank Serpico: Didya ever hear of Barnum and Bailey? Leslie Lane: Yeah. Frank Serpico: Well, I'm their lion tamer.
Joe Stafford: You really believe your little story's gonna make a difference when there's a gun to our heads? Tony Mendez: I think my story's the only thing between you and a gun to your head.
Colt Gun Salesman: [the gun salesman is amazed at Marty's gunmanship at a shooting gallery] Uh, just tell me one thing. Where'd you learn to shoot like that? Marty McFly: 7-Eleven.
I'm a control freak. Totally.
Maybe I'm a control freak.
It's wherever business rules, business is going to get the politicians they want because they control the money and money controls the power.
A man should control his life. Mine is controlling me.
