Elvis: Yo, man, I ain't askin' nobody nothin'! Nick, Slevin, Clark Kent, whatever the fuck your name is. The Virgin Mary herself could com waltzin' up in here with her fine ass, titties hangin' out and everything, and if she tells me your name is Jes...
Maria the cleaning woman: I used to work in the Académie Française / but it didn't do me any good at all. / And I once worked in the library in the Prado in Madrid / But it didn't teach me nothing I recall. / And the Library of Congress you would h...
Sam Bell: Well then I'm goin back, that's it for me. Clone #2: Pfft! Sam Bell: What? Clone #2: Is that what you really think? Sam Bell: Yea, I've got a contract... I'm, I'm goin home. Clone #2: You're a fuckin' clone, you don't have shit! Sam Bell: H...
Grandpapa: Now what I want to talk to you two about is the trouble that you've been getting into. Boys, the Lord didn't put you here to be shooting and killing each other. It's right there in the Bible, Exodus 20:13: '"Thou shall not kill.' Caine: Gr...
Tank: Here you go, buddy; "Breakfast of Champions." Mouse: If you close your eyes, it almost feels like you're eating runny eggs. Apoc: Yeah, or a bowl of snot. Mouse: Do you know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Whea...
Vinny Gambini: [answering the phone] Hello? D.A. Jim Trotter: [into the phone] You did good out there today, Yankee. I like the competition. You like competition, too? Makes things kinds fun, doesn't it? Vinny Gambini: I'm enjoying myself so far. D.A...
Clarissa Saunders: How many times have you heard me say "I'm fed up with politics" and I... no, I let him talk me into staying. Secretary to a leader of little squirts! Why? Because I need the job and a new suit of clothes! Diz Moore: Would you settl...
Sally: Lunch! Dr. Finkelstein: Mm, what's this? [sniffs] Dr. Finkelstein: Wormswort! Mmm... [prepares to take a bite but then sniffs suspiciously] Dr. Finkelstein: ...And frog's breath? Sally: [innocently] What's wrong? I thought you *liked* frog's b...
Barbara: These are those four outlines submitted by Universal for an hour series. You needn't bother to read them; I'll tell them to you. The first one is set at a large Eastern law school, presumably Harvard. The series is irresistibly entitled "The...
Sharkey: You boys got yourself a real martyr for a friend. Make it work for you. Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Yeah, but what are we going to do with a martyr? Sharkey: Times change. Prohibition won't last much longer. Take it from me, a lot of you will ...
Lance: Still got your Malibu? Vincent: Aw, man. You know what some fucker did the other day? Lance: What? Vincent: Fucking keyed it. Lance: Oh, man, that's fucked up. Vincent: Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years, it was out for five...
King: Thirty nine and a wake-up, a pause for the cause, and I'm a gone motherfucker! Back to the world! Crawford: I hear you, man. Broke 100 the other day. King: No shit. Crawford: Ninety-two left to go. April 17, heroes, man. Home to California. I'l...
Jean-Baptiste Grenouille: I can make Amour and Psyche for you. Now. Giuseppe Baldini: And you think I'd just let you sop around in my laboratory? With essential oils that are worth are fortune? Jean-Baptiste Grenouille: Yes. Giuseppe Baldini: Pay att...
Foulfellow: [Picks up Pinocchio's schoolbook and apple, which he eats] Well, well. Quite the scholar, I see. Look, Giddy. A man of letters. Here's your book [hands book to Pinocchio] Pinocchio: I'm going to school. Foulfellow: School. Ah, yes. Then p...
Cutter: I saw you, drop the knot again...? Julia McCullough: I think I turned my wrist... Cutter: Some nights you just don't get it, do you? I mean, if that knot slips and Julia's on the hoist, she'll break her leg! Alfred Borden: It's a wrong knot. ...
American GI Cook: Up bright and early, General? Uh, breakfast? Patton: Am I to understand that my officers have already finished eating? American GI Cook: Uh, well, we're open from six to eight. Most of the men are just coming in now. [Indicates two ...
Terry Pugh: [after failing to find his cousin in a phonebook] Must've moved. Probably couldn't have heard him anyway, this goddamn ear's still bleedin'. Don't you ever try that shit again. Robert 'Butch' Haynes: [sternly] What? Terry Pugh: [puzzled] ...
Colorado Ryan: How'd you come out with Burdette? John T. Chance: He wanted to talk to his brother. Colorado Ryan: What'd he have to say? John T. Chance: Nothing. Colorado Ryan: You mean he didn't say anything? John T. Chance: Why are you so intereste...
Father Cavanaugh: [in church] Taking your appeal to a higher authority? Rudy: I'm desperate. If I don't get in next semester, it's over. Notre Dame doesn't accept senior transfers. Father Cavanaugh: Well, you've done a hell of a job kid, chasing down...
John Mooney: Are you disappointed? Charlie: Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed? I got rose bushes didn't I? I got a used car, didn't I? This other guy, what'd you call him? John Mooney: The beneficiary. Charlie: Yeah him, he got $3,000,000 bu...
Joey Gazelle: [after Teresa confesses to killing the pedophiles] Why couldn't you just have taken the kid and left? Why couldn't you just have taken the kid and left? Teresa Gazelle: I have never seen evil before tonight, Joe. Real fucking evil. Okay...
