With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.
They missed a great opportunity to shut up.
It's always a good idea to let the audience make up their own minds.
Hey, man, I like to look good; I wear make-up.
A band is a good way to break up a friendship.
Of course, screwed up families are not the exclusive province of the famous. Still, most families get to screw up in private.
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
It is up to God to reveal a religion, but up to us to understand and realise it.
Showing up is not all of life - but it counts for a lot.
If you fall, get back up. That's what life is about.
A beautiful wake-up is one of life's most perfectly happy times.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
I've been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.
You don't need to be stable to be a stand-up comedian.
Someone has to stand up for wimps.
I'm a grown-up now, and I value the training I had.
Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.
Never give up on anybody.
I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
I like being a pin-up girl. There's nothing wrong with it.
To be a mentor for up-and-coming artists is right up my alley.
