Noah Vosen: [in car, on cell phone] Perhaps we can arrange a meet. Jason Bourne: Where are you now? Noah Vosen: I'm sitting in my office. Jason Bourne: I doubt that. Noah Vosen: Why would you doubt that? Jason Bourne: If you were in your office right...
Chuck Noland: Do, do you have to keep bringing that up, huh? Ok, so it was a good thing we did a test because it wasn't going to be just a quick snap. Would've broken my neck, or leg or my back. Would've bled to death on the beach, but it's in the pa...
I wish I could write about shows outside New York. I often feel like the last person to know anything, because I almost never get to leave town, and when I do, I tend to go for three days max. Seeing between 30 and 40 shows a week in 100 or so galler...
Dorleac: And if you're thinking just now 'Why me, oh God?' the answer is: God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is never in France this time of year. Edmond: God has everything to do with it. He's everywhere. He sees everything. Dorleac: Alrigh...
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: We split up on April Fool's Day. So I decided to let the joke run for a month. Every day I buy a can of pineapple with a sell-by date of May 1. May loves pineapple, and May 1 is my birthday. If May hasn't changed her mind by the ti...
[first lines] Justin Quayle: Oh, thank you Arnold. I... I can manage that. But I still don't see why you couldn't wait a couple of weeks. Why go all the way up to Loki? Tessa Quayle: Well, we want to hear Grace Makanga speak, and she won't be coming ...
[Randal bursts into the office] Randal Graves: [laughing] I made fun of "Lord of the Rings" so hard, it made some supergeek puke all over the counter. Where do we keep the mop and bucket so I can have Elias clean it up? Dante Hicks: In the closet, wi...
Jay: Yeah. Silent Bob, you're a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal. [Jay makes a rude head gesture and car horn honks] Jay: Ewww, you fucking ...
Dante Hicks: You get me slapped with a fine. You pick fights with the customers and I have to patch everything up. You get us chased out of a funeral home by violating a corpse. To top it all off, you ruined my relationship with Veronica! What's your...
Fanning: [cops are in alley outside Ramon's apartment] Ramon went through that window... splat. Glass here, then tires rolled over it. Richard Weidner: Maybe he jumped. Fanning: Sure... he's depressed so he jumps four stories out of a window onto his...
Pedrosa: What's up? Why do you want to know about our case? Fanning: Any unusual activity tonight? Pedrosa: Like what? Fanning: That relates to a series of murders in Wilshire Central or West Hollywood? Pedrosa: All quiet on the western front. Variou...
Laurianne Beaulieu: [in the parking lot] It's what he wanted. Gervais Beaulieu: So? It's not up to him. You want to turn him into a fairy? [looking at Zac's toy] Laurianne Beaulieu: Stop it, he's only five! Gervais Beaulieu: He's almost six and looks...
Funboy: Jesus Christ! Eric Draven: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one: Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. [Fun Boy shoots him] Eric Draven: Ow! He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks... [Fun Boy shoots him again] Funboy: Don't you eve...
Vinny Forlano: He won't talk. Stone is a good kid. Stand-up guy, just like his old man. That's the way I see it. Vincent Borelli: I agree. He's solid. A fuckin' Marine. Americo Capelli: He's okay. He always was. Remo, what do you think? Remo Gaggi: L...
[about halfway through the film; Nicky has just calmed Ginger down after Lester was beat up by her husband's thugs] Nicky Santoro: [about her drinking] And take it easy with this shit, will you? I mean, this can only make matters worse. You're a beau...
Charles: Sheeta, can you make pudding? I *love* pudding! Louis: I get to lick the spatula! Henri: And I like chocolate cake with that... Oh, what's that frosting? It's kinda pink and swirly with... Dola: Will you shut up? [to Pazu and Sheeta] Dola: A...
Head Elf: COME ON, KID! [pulls Ralphie] Head Elf: COME ON! Santa Claus: HO! HO HO! [spins Ralphie around] Santa Claus: HOOOO... HOOO... HOO... And what's your name little boy? Male Elf: Hey, kid! HURRY UP! THE STORE'S CLOSING! Head Elf: Listen little...
Jasper Sitwell: What do you want? Sam Wilson: You're gonna go around the corner to your right. There's a gray car two spaces down. You and I are gonna take a ride. Jasper Sitwell: And why would I do that? Sam Wilson: Because that tie looks really exp...
Carlito: I'm reloaded! Okay? Come on in here, you motherfuckers! Come on, I'm waitin' for ya! What, you ain't comin' in? Okay, I'm comin' out! Oh, you up against me now, motherfuckers! I'm gonna blow your fuckin' brains out! You think you're big time...
[Boarding Kleinfeld's boat] Frankie Taglialucci: What's with the extra guy? [referring to Carlito] David Kleinfeld: Carlito, this is one of Tony's son's, Frankie. Frankie Taglialucci: Nah, it's Frank. David Kleinfeld: Whatever... Frankie Taglialucci:...
Wikus Van De Merwe: Oh! I haven't shown you a picture of my wife! Here she is, my angel. I tell people she actually looks like an angel, you see here? The white looks like a halo on her head. Can you see that? She's my angel, you're picking that up o...
