Max Denoff: [telling a joke to the train passengers] Woman always mess up my last name. I was with a girl the other night and she kept calling me "Getoff." She was like, "Getoff! Getoff!" I'm like, "No, it's Denoff. Denoff." She says, "No, you're fat...
Miles Raymond: Yeah, right. Yup, I'm a homo. Yeah. Yeah. Just make up whatever you want and that's what happened. Okay? Write out my gay confession and I'll sign it. Okay? Just stop pushing me all the time. You're an infant, Jack. This is all a big p...
Jack: [crying] I can't lose Christine, Miles. I can't. I know I fucked up, I know I did a bad thing, and I'm a bad person! But you gotta help me, Miles! You gotta help me! If I lose Christine, I... I am nothing! I'm nothing!
Jack Torrance: Mr. Grady, you were the caretaker here. I recognize ya. I saw your picture in the newspapers. You, uh, chopped your wife and daughters up into little bits. And then you blew your brains out. Delbert Grady: That's strange, sir. I don't ...
Joe: [to Spats, about the murders they just witnessed] We didn't see anything. Did we? Jerry: No! [laughs nervously] Jerry: Nothing. Besides, it's none of our business if you guys wanna bump each other off, we don't - [Joe nudges him to shut him up]
Lord Farquaad: [to his knights] The winner of this tournament - no, no, the privilege - will have the honour of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his pl...
Shrek: Go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Donkey: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess. Shrek: The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. Donkey: How do you know that? Shrek: I read it in ...
[Bond and M drive off in the Aston Martin DB5] M: It's not very comfortable, is it? James Bond: [Flips up the shift knob cap to reveal the ejector seat button underneath] Are you gonna complain all the way? M: Oh, go on, then, eject me. See if I care...
[Boggs sizes Andy up] Boggs: Hey, anybody come at you yet? Anybody get to you yet? [Andy looks at him in puzzlement] Boggs: Hey, we all need friends in here. I could be a friend to you. [Andy walks away] Boggs: Hey... Hard to get. I like that...
[last lines] Don Lockwood: Ladies and gentlemen, stop that girl, that girl running up the aisle. Stop her! That's the girl whose voice you heard and loved tonight. She's the real star of the picture. Kathy Selden! [theater audience applauds and cheer...
[after Marianne has first met Willoughby] Elinor Dashwood: Marianne, you must change. You will catch a cold. Marianne: What care I for colds when there is such a man. Elinor Dashwood: You will care very much when your nose swells up. Marianne: You ar...
Mrs. Anthony: Well, I do hope you've forgotten about that silly little plan of yours. Bruno Anthony: Which one? Mrs. Anthony: About blowing up the White House. Bruno Anthony: Oh, Ma, I was only fooling. Besides, what would the President say? Mrs. Ant...
Billy Baldwin: [answers the phone] Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin call his extension, stupid! [hangs up the phone] Billy Baldwin: Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? Alec Baldwin: No, what? B...
Red Six: I got a problem here. My converter's running wild. Biggs: Eject! Red Six: I can hold it. Gimme more room to run. Biggs: You're too low. Pull up! Red Six: No, I'm all right... [death scream] Red Six: [Porkins' fighter explodes from a turbolas...
Mr. Potato Head: Can we stop? My parts are killing me. Buzz Lightyear: How about a quick roll call? Everybody here? Mr. Potato Head: Not everybody. Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind? Slinky Dog: Mine... [Slinky Dog's back half catches up with the group]
[the toys are trying to enter an apartment building] Mr. Potato Head: I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza. Hamm: How about a ham sandwich? With fries and a hotdog? Rex: What about me? Hamm: Ah, you can ...
Cross-examining Lawyer: So, you say that when Amos Wharton raised his axe, you backed away from him. Rooster Cogburn: That's right. Cross-examining Lawyer: In what direction were you going? Rooster Cogburn: I always go backwards when I'm backing up.
Harry Lime: What did you want me to do? Be reasonable. You didn't expect me to give myself up... 'It's a far, far better thing that I do.' The old limelight. The fall of the curtain. Oh, Holly, you and I aren't heroes. The world doesn't make any hero...
[Rapunzel pulls Mother Gothel up the tower] Rapunzel: Hi. Welcome home, Mother. Mother Gothel: Oh! Rapunzel! How you manage to do that every single day without fail! It looks absolutely exhausting, darling! Rapunzel: Oh, it's nothing. Mother Gothel: ...
Boris: Lee, this guy's... Lee: Boris, please, I'm meeting people right now. Clarence Worley: [Trying to get his attention] Uh, Mr. Donowitz. Lee: [Overtly friendly] Oh, Clarence, don't insult me, just call me Lee. Boris: [With urgency] Lee... Lee: [A...
Christof: As Truman grew up, we were forced to manufacture ways to keep him on the island. [flashback to Truman at school] Young Truman: I like to be an explorer, like the great Magellan. Teacher: [rolling down a map of the world] Oh, you're too late...
