Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
The only real laughter comes from despair.
I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generation, and Groucho is certainly one of them.
The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue. People didn't realize it, but when Groucho said something, he meant it.
Fun? There is no fun.
There are no ugly ducklings.
Funny is funny is funny.
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
Education is a vacine for violence.
It's good to be alive.
I'm no good at anecdotes.
Posturing is funny to me.
The British are so funny.
I'm not afraid of aging.
Canadians are the best, they're the best.
Recess and lunch are the best.
To be silent is to be passive.
There's no such thing as an uber-mom.
These are icons to be treasured.
This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humor section.
