A brick could be used to prop up a wobbly table—or an unstable relationship. I wish I’d have thought of that before I got divorced.
A blanket could be used to make all your dreams come true. Well, not all of them. Just the ones that are happening while you are sleeping.
A blanket could be used to cover up Jude McNude. But despite his last name, he isn’t nude, merely cold. No, I’m the naked one.
A blanket could be used as a makeshift trampoline, to attract midgets to your picnic. The great thing about dining with dwarves, is since they are little people, they eat very little.
People love to love, but I love to sleep, and that is why cats are closer to God than bricks are to blankets. –Cap’n Kintz
A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick on the book’s cover, to discourage people from opening it up.
A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold and ice cream needs to be kept warm, right?
A brick could be used to flavor your bathtub water, and raise the fluid level, so you perceive that you have more to drink.
A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to the construction of houses.
A brick could be used as another brick, as they all look the same. So yes, I am for human cloning as a means to build the future.
A blanket could be used to aid a sinner’s nightly prayer. I’m not shaking because I’m cold—I’m trembling with trepidation over the Wrath of God.
A brick could be used to win the love of a beautiful girl. The trick to getting it to work is just trying it again and again until you get the desired results.
A brick could be used to encourage trees to grow fruitful things like money. If money grew on trees, then I’d get drunk on that fermentation.
A haunted house could be used like a Band-Aid to stop a bleeding brick. But why stop the bleeding? Stab it a few more times and then sell tickets to the spectacle.
If it were customary to send little girls to school and teach them the same subjects as are taught to boys, they would learn just as fully and would understand the subtleties of all arts and sciences.
Not all men (and especially the wisest) share the opinion that it is bad for women to be educated. But it is very true that many foolish men have claimed this because it displeased them that women knew more than they did.
Because I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes, talking with strangers, waiting in line. I'm through with these pills that make me sit still, are you feeling fine? Yes, I feel just fine.
Valentine!" "You mean father. I despise this modern habit of calling one's parents by their names." "What I want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name." - Clary Fray and Valentine Morgenstern (City of Ashes)
I believe in the city as a natural human environment, but we must humanize it. It's art that will re-define public space in the 21st Century. We can make our cities diverse, inspirational places by putting art, dance and performance in all its forms ...
Historically and culturally, New York City and our entire nation simply would not be the same without the infusion of Asian traditions. Whether it is food, art, language or any other facet of cultural life, Asian Americans have made our city and our ...
Logic is something the mind has created to conceal its timidity, a hocus-pocus designed to give formal validity to conclusions we are willing to accept if everybody else in our set will too.
