Lorenzo St. DuBois: [singing] And I give a flower to the big fat cop / He takes his club and he beats me up / I give a flower to the garbage man / He stuffs my girl in the garbage can / And I give it to the landlord when the rent comes 'round / He th...
The landlord: He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law. Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket? The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord. Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my p...
[Belloq and the Nazis are walking and arguing] Belloq: I told you not to be premature in your communique to Berlin. Archeology is not an exact science. It does not deal in time schedules! Dietrich: The Fuhrer is not a patient man. He demands constant...
Nathan Arizona Sr.: You know what I think? I think you're an evil man. I think this is a shakedown. It's nothing but a Goddamn screw-job. I think you took Nathan Jr. [reaches for telephone] Nathan Arizona Sr.: And you, my fine friend, are the one who...
Charlie: Ray, all airlines have crashed at one time or another, that doesn't mean that they are not safe. Raymond: QANTAS. QANTAS never crashed. Charlie: QANTAS? Raymond: Never crashed. Charlie: Oh that's gonna do me a lot of good because QANTAS does...
Charlie: That's amazing. He should work for NASA or something like that. Doctor: Ray, if you had a dollar and you spent fifty cents, how much would you have left over? Raymond: About seventy. Doctor: Seventy cents? Raymond: Seventy cents. Charlie: So...
Raymond: I'm an excellent driver. Charlie: When did you drive? Raymond: I drove slow on the driveway when my dad came to Walbrook. Charlie: Was Dad in the car? Raymond: Yeah. Charlie: I'll have to let you drive sometime. [Raymond grabs the wheel and ...
Charlie: [on phone with Raymond's place] Dr. Bruner, it's Charlie Babbitt. Dr. Bruner: Where are you, son? Charlie: That's not important. What matters is who I'm with. Dr. Bruner: You have to bring him back, Mr. Babbitt. Do you understand me? Charlie...
[first lines] Narrator: There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven ...
Joey Gazelle: [talking on the phone] I got to fucking do something about this. I can't have the kid fucking talking to the cops. You understand me? The fucking gun is on the street. This whole fucking goddamn thing is about to fucking blow up. If fuc...
Bertier: Hey, Julius I was thinking we could... Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: He's taking a shower. Bertier: What do you want, man? Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass: You know what I want. [kisses him and Gary starts trying to punch him. The team is holding Gary back...
Ginty: [while seeing her father shave] Why do you do that? Travers Goff: For you my dear! [He flicks the blade in the air like a swordsman] Travers Goff: Swish! Which kind of kisses do you prefer, Gintamina? Swoosh! Scratchy ones or silky ones? Ginty...
[while holding a razor to Jackie Boy's face] Dwight: I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman. Jack Rafferty: You're making a bi...
Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time. Shaun: Oh, don't, man. Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. A...
[as they approach Fiona's castle, Donkey smells the air] Donkey: Whoa, Shrek, did you do that? Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that, my mouth was open and everything! Shrek: Donkey, if that was me, you'd be dead! [sniffs] Shrek...
Lord Blackwood: Sherlock Holmes... and his loyal dog. Tell me, Doctor, as a medical man, have you enjoyed my work? Dr. John Watson: Let me show you how much I've enjoyed it... [He rushes at Blackwood, Holmes holds him back] Sherlock Holmes: Watson, d...
Sévérine: Would you mind if I ask you a business question? James Bond: Depends on the question. Sévérine: It has to do with death. James Bond: A subject in which you're well-versed. Sévérine: And how would you know that? James Bond: Only a cert...
Carlos: No one has ever picked me up and not wanted something. George: I think you picked me up. This is kind of a serious day for me. Carlos: Come on. What could be so serious for a guy like you? George: I'm just trying to get over an old love I gue...
Jennifer Strunk: Would you like to meet Charlton Heston? He's our scorpion. Every night we throw in something new to him and watch him kill it. Daddy says it's like a Coliseum. Daddy says he wants to throw you into the Coliseum. George: No kidding. W...
Cyrus Cole: [telling about his hook hand] Twelve years ago God looked down on me, and He said Cyrus, you're a bad, stupid, selfish man. First I'm gonna fill your body with spirits. Then I'm gonna put you behind the wheel of a car. Then I'm gonna have...
[fantasizing about how he'll get liquor] Seth: You dropped your purse, ma'am. Would you like me to help you with your groceries? Old Lady: Well that would be lovely young man. Would you like me to buy you alcohol? Seth: That would be lovely! [at the ...
