Spend less time on social media and more time reading and writing.
You’re the reason I get up in the morning. That, and I need to pee.
Will the real Red Reaper please stand up?
The truth is that when it comes to suffering, if we do not go to our graves in confusion, we will not go to our graves trusting. Explanations are a substitute for trust.
Randal Graves: Oh what, what's with you, man? You haven't said anything for like 20 minutes. What the hell's your problem? Dante Hicks: This life. Randal Graves: This life? Dante Hicks: Why do I have this life? Randal Graves: Have some chips, you'll ...
He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves.
A beggar on his feet is worth more than an emperor in his grave.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. —STEVEN WRIGHT
Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt
If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.
I lost my virginity but I still have the box it came in. – t-shirt
I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt
There are very few personal problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.
I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.
Randal Graves: Do we have a mop? Becky: Yeah it's in the closet with the other cleaning supplies. Randal Graves: We have cleaning supplies?
He who dies for the truth finds holy ground everywhere for his grave.
Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you’re done. —T-SHIRT
I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.
My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson
