Tyler Durden: My dad never went to college, so it was real important that I go. Narrator: Sounds familiar. Tyler Durden: So I graduate, I call him up long distance, I say "Dad, now what?" He says, "Get a job." Narrator: Same here. Tyler Durden: Now I...
I decide to scope out craigslist to see all the vibrant economic employment opportunities available to me in this depression. Oh, I’m sorry, I mean “recession.” No matter how many millions of jobs are lost, how much debt our country accrues, or...
It's easy to want to be an author. You see it in your mind with sun streaming through windows and a Siamese cat purring on an antique rug and a little pellet stove and somehow the bills are paid and there's wit and self-sufficiency and divine inspira...
I can’t overstate how little I knew about myself at 22, or how little I’d thought about what I was doing. When I graduated from college I genuinely believed that the creative life was the apex of human existence, and that to work at an ordinary o...
Griffin Hansbury, who was born female but underwent a sex change after graduating from college, has another well-informed view of the powers of testosterone. “The world just changes,” he said. “The most overwhelming feeling was the incredible i...
Marshal Biggs: This is hinky, this guy's a college graduate, he went to medical school, he's not gonna come through all the security, go to the county lockup, to find someone his one people say does not exist. Hinky. Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Wel...
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Your father pedals car telephones at a 300 percent markup. Your mother works on heavy commission at a camera store. Graduated to it from espresso machines. Hah! [pause] Lt. Col. Frank Slade: What are you, dying of some wasting d...
Narrator: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hansen of Margate, New Jersey, grew up believing that he'd never truly be happy until the day he met the one. This belief stemmed from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-r...
It may take a decade or two before the extent of Shakespeare's collaboration passes from the graduate seminar to the undergraduate lecture, and finally to popular biography, by which time it will be one of those things about Shakespeare that we thoug...
When people recover from depression via psychotherapy, their attributions about recovery are likely to be different than those of people who have been treated with medication. Psychotherapy is a learning experience. Improvement is not produced by an ...
One night I begged Robin, a scientist by training, to watch Arthur Miller's 'Death of a Salesman' with me on PBS. He lasted about one act, then turned to me in horror: 'This is how you spend your days? Thinking about things like this?' I was ashamed....
Charlotte: "It’s too bad they don’t give out diplomas for what you learn at the mall, because I could graduate with honors in that subject. No really. Since I’ve worked there, I’ve become an expert on all things shopping-related. For example,...
Brittany Ellis, I'm goin' to prove to you I'm the guy you believed in ten months ago, and I'm gonna be the successful man you dreamed I could be. My plan is to ask you to marry me four years from now, the day we graduate."'And I guarantee you a lifet...
To realize the value of 1 week, ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of 10 years, ask a newly divorced couple. To realize the value of 4 years, ask a graduate. To realize the value of 1 year, ask a student who has failed their fi...
Ned: Phil? Hey, Phil? Phil! Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you! Phil: Hi, how you doing? Thanks for watching. [Starts to walk away] Ned: Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you. P...
Benjamin: Oh my God! Mrs. Robinson: Pardon? Benjamin: Oh no, Mrs. Robinson. Oh no. Mrs. Robinson: What's wrong? Benjamin: Mrs. Robinson, you didn't... I mean, you didn't expect... Mrs. Robinson: What? Benjamin: I mean, you didn't really think I'd do ...
[At the graduation ball] Todd: Hey, Rebecca. Rebecca: Oh, hi. Todd: So, we finally... Enid: What about me? Am I not even here? Todd: Hey, Enid. [he turns back to Rebecca] Todd: So, we finally made it, huh? Rebecca: Yeah. Todd: So, uh, where are you g...
Christian Szell: The gun had blanks, the knife, a retractable blade. Hardly original, but effective enough. I think you'll agree. I'm told you are a graduate student. Brilliant, yes? You are an historian, and I am part of history. I should have thoug...
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation. Max Fischer: And what does that entail? Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore. Max Fischer: In oth...
Pimp Lester: You want to study for your G.E.D.? Here. [Lester repeatedly smashes Divina's head with her book, which causes her to break his headlight] Pimp Lester: [forcing her head into the broken headlight] Look what you done to my fucking ride, bi...
Boon: Where are you going? We just got here. Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas. Boon: Umm - maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend. Katy: Oh, fabu...
