The History Teacher Trying to protect his students' innocence he told them the Ice Age was really just the Chilly Age, a period of a million years when everyone had to wear sweaters. And the Stone Age became the Gravel Age, named after the long drive...
As Tim followed me up the narrow stairwell, he playfully pinched my butt with every step, a pleasant (and painful--in a black-and-blue sort of way) reminder that all I had yearned for as a student twenty-five years before had come true, even if I had...
I hadn’t gone to Andover, or Horace Mann or Eton. My high school had been the average kind, and I’d been the best student there. Such was not the case at Eli. Here, I was surrounded by geniuses. I’d figured out early in my college career that t...
In most books, the I, or first person, is omitted; in this it will be retained; that, in respect to egotism, is the main difference. We commonly do not remember that it is, after all, always the first person that is speaking. I should not talk so muc...
Almost every time I speak to teenagers, particularly young female students who want to talk to me about feminism, I find myself staggered by how much they have read, how creatively they think and how curiously bullshit-resistant they are. Because of ...
Professor Snape: Potter, what's your hurry? Congratulations. Your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring. Gilllyweed, am I correct? Harry: Yes sir. Professor Snape: Ingenious. A rather rare herb, Gillyweed. Not something found in your everyday g...
[addressing his class] Professor Biesenthal: Well, you four have the dubious honor of having been picked from over two hundred applicants for this seminar. Well, let me just say this. There's a shortage of natural resources. There's a shortage of bre...
Lt. Nyota Uhura: [Having just learned that she is assigned to the Farragut] Commander, a word? Spock: Yes, Lieutenant? Lt. Nyota Uhura: Was I not one of your top students? Spock: Indeed you were. Lt. Nyota Uhura: [the scene cuts to another location, ...
Nadya Zelenin and her mother had returned from a performance of Eugene Onegin at the theatre. Going into her room, the girl swiftly threw off her dress and let her hair down. Then she quickly sat at the table in her petticoat and white bodice to writ...
Big Evil: That's when we fucking graduate. We fucking get the upgrade right now. Not fucking gonna be little fucking paisas no fucking more. Right? That's what we're gonna do. Demon: I'm with you. Big Evil: They want to come into our fucking hood and...
To the men and women who changed Cheryl Hersha's life, she was a continuation of the research that had first been conducted in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries by Dr. Morton Prince. He encountered a woman named Miss Beauchamp, a nurs...
When Annunziata said she loved me or any of her thousands of other friends and beloveds, she was really saying, at least in my mind, “God loves you.” To quote the singer/songwriter James Taylor, she showered the people she loved with love, always...
Hey, Pedro, could you get your shopping cart out of my faculty parking space? Yes, I know you live on the street. But you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on the Upper West Side. After all, you used to be one of my best students! So how's t...
Jean Lundegaard: [reprimanding Scotty, who is eating and watching TV, paying no attention] I am talking about your potential. You're not a 'C' student. Scotty Lundegaard: Uh huh... Jean Lundegaard: Yet you're gettin' 'C' grades. It's the disparity he...
Igor Karkaroff: [a highly agitated Karkaroff is following Snape around outside the Yule Ball as Snape patrols through the carriages parked on the grounds] It's happening again, like before, and soon neither you nor anyone else will be able to deny it...
Draco Malfoy: Look Who is Back Harry Potter: Well, Well, Well, if it isn't Draco Malfart Draco Malfoy: Whatever You Say, HAIRY Potter, Your the hairiest Potter i've ever seen Hermione Granger: Hey, Atleast He Doesn't Still like Dora as a Teenager Ron...
Harvey Pekar: What movie could be worth driving 260 miles round trip for? Toby Radloff: It's a new film called Revenge of the Nerds. It's about a group of nerd college students who are being picked on all the time by the jocks. So they decide to take...
Bill: He'll accept you as his student. The Bride: Caught him in a good mood, aye? Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker. The Brid...
