Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation. Max Fischer: And what does that entail? Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore. Max Fischer: In oth...
Pimp Lester: You want to study for your G.E.D.? Here. [Lester repeatedly smashes Divina's head with her book, which causes her to break his headlight] Pimp Lester: [forcing her head into the broken headlight] Look what you done to my fucking ride, bi...
Boon: Where are you going? We just got here. Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas. Boon: Umm - maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend. Katy: Oh, fabu...
She was right: school was lonely. The eighteen and nineteen year olds didn't socialize with the younger kids, and though there were plenty of students my age and younger [...] their lives were so cloistered and their concerns so foolish and foreign-s...
So here's the deal: I speak up in class, I get sent to office. Megan speaks up in class, she's a "strong, assertive model student."I post a few flyers saying that the vending machines on school property are a sign that our school has sold out to corp...
Albus Dumbledore had gotten to his feet. He was beaming at the students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there. "Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, ...
A book isn't a single, static thing with one unarguable meaning. Each reader who comes to it brings his own special knowledge, habits and attitudes. Each reader reads a different book. Each reader imagines a different story. A few years ago, for inst...
One of the biggest difficulties in our contemporary society is that we try to locate the evil in somebody else and then we try to get rid of him. The police are pigs or the students are worthless, and so on and so on. The Marxists are the devils or t...
Cantor illustrated the concept of infinity for his students by telling them that there was once a man who had a hotel with an infinite number of rooms, and the hotel was fully occupied. Then one more guest arrived. So the owner moved the guest in roo...
Teachers seeking to 'teach the controversy' over Darwinian evolution in today's climate will likely be met with false warnings that it is unconstitutional to say anything negative about Darwinian evolution. Students who attempt to raise questions abo...
Even though peak experiences might show us the truth and inform us about why we are training, they are essentially no big deal. If we can't integrate them into the ups and downs of our lives, if we cling to them, they will hinder us. We can trust our...
If you spend any amount of time doing media analysis, it’s clear that the most frenzied moral panic surrounding young women’s sexuality comes from the mainstream media, which loves to report about how promiscuous girls are, whether they’re acti...
Exploration! Exploring the past! We students in the camps seminar considered ourselves radical explorers. We tore open the windows and let in the air, the wind that finally whirled away the dust that society had permitted to settle over the horrors o...
First day of your teaching you are to stand at your classroom door and let your students know how happy you are to see them. Stand, I say. Any playwright will tell you that when the actor sits down the play sits down. The best move of all is to estab...
Why do so many today want to wander off to South Africa or Kenya or India or Russia or Honduras or Costa Rica or Peru to help with justice issues but not spend the same effort in their own neighborhood or community or state? Why do young suburbanites...
I can't blame most people if they don't read a lot. Because they have their own preferences. If they find an article long, they won't even finish. So as to say, I am glad I have the love for "reading" for it nourishes your soul and yourself from idea...
Professor Snape: A remarkable feat, don't you think? To enter the castle on ones own, completely undetected? Dumbledore: Quite. Professor Snape: Any theories on how he might have managed it? Dumbledore: Many. Each as unlikely as the next. Professor S...
Dolores Umbridge: Pardon me, Professor, but what exactly are you insinuating? Minerva McGonagall: I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices. Dolores Umbridge: So silly of me, but it ...
Marjane as a teenager: You say that our scarfs and trousers are indecent and that we put on make up, etc. As an art student, I'm often in the studio. I need to move freely in order to draw. A longer scarf will hinder me. As for our trousers, you say ...
As a leftover sixties liberal, I believe that the long arm and beady eyes of the government have no place in our bedrooms, our kitchens, or the backseats of our parked cars. But I also feel that the immediate appointment of a Special Pastry Prosecuto...
There is something about Christmas that requires a rug rat. Little kids make Christmas fun. I wonder if could rent one for the holidays. When I was tiny we would by a real tree and stay up late drinking hot chocolate and finding just the right place ...
