Ainsworth: During the night, old Perkins got his leg bitten sort of... off. Dr. Livingstone: Ah, been in the wars, have we? Perkins: Yes. Dr. Livingstone: Ah, any headache? Bowels all right? Hm. Well, let's have a look at this "one leg" of yours, the...
Jimmy Markum: They put her in a bag. Theo: What's that? Jimmy Markum: That's what Katie looked like when I saw her in the morgue. Like they put her in a bag and then they beat the bag with pipes. Janie died in her sleep, all due respect, but there yo...
Trapper John: Finished work for the day? Frank Burns: Yes. Why? Trapper John: Good. I was hoping you'd have time tonight to sleep this off. [Trapper punches Burns to the floor and injures his hand just as Colonel Blake and Hotlips walk in] Trapper Jo...
Mendoza: Though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned and have not love, it profiteth me nothing. Love suffereth and...
Michael Longo: [showing a picture of his new girlfriend] You think she's good-looking? She's smart, too. She's gonna be a teacher. Tony DeVienazo: Let me see that. Oh, I know this girl. Michael Longo: Yeah? Tony DeVienazo: Yeah... I saw her kissing a...
Vinny Gambini: It's a procedure. Like rebuilding a carburetor has a procedure. You know, when you rebuild a carburetor, the first thing you do is you take the carburetor off the manifold? Supposing you skip the first step, and while you're replacing ...
[first lines] Announcer: In the name of Allah the merciful, all praises due to Allah, Lord of all the worlds. The one God to whom praise is due forever. The one who came to us in the person of Master Fard Muhammad and raised up the Honorable Elijah M...
[Before Max's grand robbery] Noodles: I'm gonna be gone for a while. Eve: I'll be waiting at the hotel. I like it when you come home late and wake me up. Noodles: I'm not gonna be home tonight. I'm not gonna be home tomorrow either. Eve: I thought th...
Terry: All right. Now I have complied with your every request, would you agree? Rusty: I would. Terry: Good, 'cause now I have one of my own. Run and hide, asshole. Run and hide. If you should be picked up next week buying a hundred-thousand dollar s...
Lawrence: We still goin' fishin' this weekend? Peter Gibbons: Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it. Lawrence: Well, you can get out of that easily. Peter Gibbons: Yeah? How? Lawrence: Well, when a boss wants you to work o...
Ulysses Everett McGill: The old tactician has got a plan. For the transportation that is, I don't know how I'm gonna keep my coiffure in order. Pete: How's this a plan? How we gonna get a car? Ulysses Everett McGill: Sell that. I figure it can only h...
Sim Carstairs: Ten year I been ferryin' Kansas Redlegs, Union cavalry, Missouri guerillas... you name it. Mad dogs them guerillas. You look sideways at 'em... [snaps a rope like a noose] Sim Carstairs: they kill ya. Carpetbagger: Sound like hard men ...
Lady Catherine de Bourg: Now tell me once and for all: Are you engaged to him? Elizabeth Bennet: I am not. Lady Catherine de Bourg: And will you promise never to enter into such an engagement? Elizabeth Bennet: I will not and I certainly never shall....
Jane Bennet: How do you like it here in Hertfordshire, Mr. Bingley? Mr. Bingley: Very much. Elizabeth Bennet: The library at Netherfield, I've heard, is one of the finest in the country. Mr. Bingley: Yes, fills me with guilt. Not a very good reader, ...
Harry Goldfarb: I always thought you were the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Marion: Really? Harry Goldfarb: Ever since I first saw you. Marion: That's nice Harry. That makes me feel really good. you know other people have told me that before ...
Mr. Blonde: Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything yo...
Friar Tuck: [the Sheriff has taken the only coin from the Poor Box, and Friar Tuck is furious] You thieving scandal! Sheriff of Nottingham: Now, take it easy, Friar, I'm just doing my duty. Friar Tuck: Collecting taxes for that arrogant, greedy, ruth...
Niki Lauda: Your fan belt is loose. Marlene Lauda: My what? Niki Lauda: And when you brake your foot goes all the way down, which means there's air in the system. Marlene Lauda: Anything else? Niki Lauda: No... Apart from the rear brakes are worn out...
Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer. Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they've activated the energy shield. Han Solo: T...
[Chewbacca is fixing C-3PO] C-3PO: Oh, yes, that's very good, I like that... Oh! [the lights in his eyes go out] C-3PO: Well, now, something's not right, because now I can't see! [Chewie fiddles with something and his eyes turn back on] C-3PO: Oh, oh...
Bill Cox: Hey, Scooter, did I tell you the one about the two ol' boys pissing off a bridge? Scooter: I don't believe you did. Bill Cox: Well, there were these two ol' boys and they hung their peckers off a bridge to piss. One ol' boy from California,...
