Paul House: Well, what do you buy a woman who has everything? Lillian House: We already own twin cemetery plots. Larry Lipton: I always think a Bentley is in good taste. Or, you could go the route I did and buy her a set of handkerchiefs. Carol Lipto...
Jane: Good morning, father! George W. Banks: [grumbles] 'Morning. Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word! Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about, supercal... super... or whateve...
[first lines] Christopher "Chris" Wilton: The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are m...
Gil: Would you read it? Ernest Hemingway: Your novel? Gil: Yeah, it's about 400 pages long, and I'm just looking for an opinion. Ernest Hemingway: My opinion is I hate it. Gil: Well you haven't even read it yet. Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll ha...
Dave Boyle: Hey, you think I can get that Sprite, Sean? Sean Devine: Sure. [opens the door to leave] Dave Boyle: Oh, I get it. You're the good cop. How about a meatball sub while you're at it? Sean Devine: I ain't your bitch, Dave. Looks like you're ...
Hawkeye Pierce: I know how we can make some money. We leave him... [points to Spearchucker] Hawkeye Pierce: out of the first half of the game, we bet half our money, they roll up some points. Now, second half of the game, we stick him in, we bet the ...
Richard Hart: I knew who you were when we met. You were young. I knew it might get tough, but I was prepared. You're a good mother, but at times you've been a fucking lousy wife. Why didn't you come to me? You could have told me how lonely you were. ...
Homer: [to John] Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as t...
Butch: How was your breakfast? Fabienne: It was good... Butch: Did you get the pancakes, the blueberry pancakes? Fabienne: No, no, they didn't have blueberry pancakes, I had to get buttermilk - are you sure you're okay? Butch: Honey, since I left you...
General Mireau: Hello there, soldier. Ready to kill more Germans? Private Ferol: Yes, sir. General Mireau: What's your name, soldier? Private Ferol: Sir, Private Ferol, Company A. General Mireau: Aha. You married, soldier? Private Ferol: No, sir. Gen...
[Steve opens the window next to the neighbor's house] Steve: We've got a good game going on here. Ben Tuthill: My kids wanna watch Mr. Rogers. Steve: I don't care what you're watching Ben, just show a little mercy with that thing! Ben Tuthill: Move y...
Mr. Bennet: How can that possibly affect them? Mrs. Bennet: Oh Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome? You know he must marry one of them! Mr. Bennet: Ah, so that is his desire in settling here. Mrs. Bennet: You must go and visit him at once! Mr. Ben...
Patton: Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as solders who call upon Thee tha...
Johann Friedrich Struensee: Your majesty. Caroline Mathilde: You recognized me. Johann Friedrich Struensee: I would recognize you blindfolded. Caroline Mathilde: But your costume is not very imaginative. Johann Friedrich Struensee: I'm afraid I'm not...
Mr. Brown: [after Joe assigns names] Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's little too close to "Mr. Shit". Mr. Pink: Yeah, "Mr. Pink" sounds like "Mr. Pussy". Tell you what, let me be Mr. Purple. That sounds good to me. I'm Mr. Purple. Joe: You're *not...
Little John: You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor. Robin Hood: Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit f...
Prince John: Hiss! You're never around when I need you! Hiss: Coming, coming. [begins singing 'For I'm a Jolly Good Fellow' until Prince John uncorks the barrel he's in] Hiss: Oh! there you are old boy! P.J., you're not going to believe this, but the...
Charlie: Ray, all airlines have crashed at one time or another, that doesn't mean that they are not safe. Raymond: QANTAS. QANTAS never crashed. Charlie: QANTAS? Raymond: Never crashed. Charlie: Oh that's gonna do me a lot of good because QANTAS does...
Rupert Cadell: [Phillip and Brandon have been arguing about strangling chickens] Personally, I think a chicken is as good a reason for murder as a blonde, a mattress full of dollar bills or any of the customary, unimaginative reasons. Janet Walker: W...
Skinner: Toasting your success, eh, Linguini? Good for you. Linguini: [indicating his wine glass] Oh, I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink, you know. Skinner: Oh, of course you don't. I wouldn't either if I was drinking *that*. But you w...
Bus Driver: All right! Rest stop, 45 minutes! C'mon, folks, we got to move! We leave at 2:45 on the dot! Can't be late! [to his white passengers] Bus Driver: Hot meals and bathrooms inside! [to his "colored" passengers] Bus Driver: All right, uh, the...
