[a nightmare switches between a ladies' garden club and a Soviet/Chinese military hospital] Chairlady: You will notice that I have told them they may smoke. I've allowed my people to have a little fun in the selection of bizarre tobacco substitutes.....
Lisa: You should be sleeping, baby. Pita: I'm trying, Mom Lisa: Good news. You're going back to school Pita: When? Lisa: Samuel is going to hire a new bodyguard. It may take a few days, but you're going back Pita: Could he speak English? Emilio could...
Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today? Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night. Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away? Roz: Don't let it ha...
President Barack Obama: Rizvan Khan, it's good to see you hale and hearty. You on TV more than me now, huh? Rizwan Khan: You already know my name? President Barack Obama: Yes I do. Your name is Khan. Rizwan Khan: Yes. President Barack Obama: And you ...
Walt Bishop: Be advised, the two of you will never see each other again. Those were your last words. Do you understand? Suzy: I'd be careful if I were you. One of these days, somebody's gonna get pushed too far. And who knows what they're capable of?...
Distraught Male Voice: I just can't go on. I'm not good any more, goodbye... goodbye... aaaargh... Aaaargh. [a leaf falls to the ground] Distraught Female Voice: Oh my God. What'll I do? I can't live without him... I... aaaargh. [Another leaf falls] ...
Mushu: The truth is we're both frauds. Your ancestors never sent me, they don't even like me. But you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. [Cri-Kee chirps sadly at Mushu] Mushu...
[flashback] Leonard Shelby: How can you read that again? Leonard's Wife: It's good. Leonard Shelby: Yeah, but you read it like a thousand times. Leonard's Wife: I enjoy it. Leonard Shelby: I always thought the pleasure of a book was wanting to know w...
Paul House: Well, what do you buy a woman who has everything? Lillian House: We already own twin cemetery plots. Larry Lipton: I always think a Bentley is in good taste. Or, you could go the route I did and buy her a set of handkerchiefs. Carol Lipto...
Jane: Good morning, father! George W. Banks: [grumbles] 'Morning. Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word! Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about, supercal... super... or whateve...
Gil: Would you read it? Ernest Hemingway: Your novel? Gil: Yeah, it's about 400 pages long, and I'm just looking for an opinion. Ernest Hemingway: My opinion is I hate it. Gil: Well you haven't even read it yet. Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll ha...
Dave Boyle: Hey, you think I can get that Sprite, Sean? Sean Devine: Sure. [opens the door to leave] Dave Boyle: Oh, I get it. You're the good cop. How about a meatball sub while you're at it? Sean Devine: I ain't your bitch, Dave. Looks like you're ...
Hawkeye Pierce: I know how we can make some money. We leave him... [points to Spearchucker] Hawkeye Pierce: out of the first half of the game, we bet half our money, they roll up some points. Now, second half of the game, we stick him in, we bet the ...
Richard Hart: I knew who you were when we met. You were young. I knew it might get tough, but I was prepared. You're a good mother, but at times you've been a fucking lousy wife. Why didn't you come to me? You could have told me how lonely you were. ...
Homer: [to John] Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as t...
Butch: How was your breakfast? Fabienne: It was good... Butch: Did you get the pancakes, the blueberry pancakes? Fabienne: No, no, they didn't have blueberry pancakes, I had to get buttermilk - are you sure you're okay? Butch: Honey, since I left you...
[Steve opens the window next to the neighbor's house] Steve: We've got a good game going on here. Ben Tuthill: My kids wanna watch Mr. Rogers. Steve: I don't care what you're watching Ben, just show a little mercy with that thing! Ben Tuthill: Move y...
Mr. Bennet: How can that possibly affect them? Mrs. Bennet: Oh Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome? You know he must marry one of them! Mr. Bennet: Ah, so that is his desire in settling here. Mrs. Bennet: You must go and visit him at once! Mr. Ben...
Patton: Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as solders who call upon Thee tha...
Johann Friedrich Struensee: Your majesty. Caroline Mathilde: You recognized me. Johann Friedrich Struensee: I would recognize you blindfolded. Caroline Mathilde: But your costume is not very imaginative. Johann Friedrich Struensee: I'm afraid I'm not...
Mr. Brown: [after Joe assigns names] Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's little too close to "Mr. Shit". Mr. Pink: Yeah, "Mr. Pink" sounds like "Mr. Pussy". Tell you what, let me be Mr. Purple. That sounds good to me. I'm Mr. Purple. Joe: You're *not...
