Adam: What are your qualifications? Beetlejuice: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXO...
[Jeffrey comes to the breakfast table with a badly bruised face] Jeffrey Beaumont: I don't want to talk about it. Mrs. Beaumont: But... Jeffrey Beaumont: Everything is okay, I just don't want to talk about it. Aunt Barbara: But sometimes it's good to...
Samantha: [after leaving Bill's family for good] Why couldn't we take Randy and Mindy with us? Mom: Because sweetie, I'm not their legal guardian, that would be kidnapping; it's against the law. Samantha: Couldn't you talk to their mom? Mom: I tried ...
[on the pronunciation of "phlegm"] Brian Roberts: P H is always pronounced as F, and, uh, you don't sound the G. Natalia Landauer: Then why are they putting the G, please? Brian Roberts: That's, that's a very good question, but rather difficult to ex...
Reporter: Bob Johnson, Boston Globe. Two days ago, we ran a story about you giving your relief money back. Can you tell our readers why? Jim Braddock: I believe we live in a great country, a country that's great enough to help a man financially when ...
Remo Gaggi: Frankie, they found a guy's head in the desert, did you know about that? Frank Marino: Yea I heard, yea Remo Gaggi: Everybody's talkin about it, makin a big deal about it, it's in all the papers. Frank Marino: Whadaya gonna do? Frank Mari...
Mother: Randy, how do the little piggies go? Randy: [oinks like a pig] Mother: That's right. Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat. [points to his plate] Mother: This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat. Be a good boy. Show mommy how th...
Mr. Frank Shirley: Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on. It's people that make the dif...
John Milton: Don't get too cocky my boy. No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... shit-kickin' surfer. L...
Two-Face: The joker chose me! Batman: Because you were the best of us. He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall. Two-Face: And he was right. Batman: You're the one pointing the gun, Harvey. So point it at the people responsible....
Frank Costello: There is no need to remind you that if you don't find that cheese eating rat bastard in your department... it won't be me who suffers for it. Colin Sullivan: What I be any good at my job if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank Co...
Doctor: I've seen worse cartilage in knees. Bruce Wayne: That's good. Doctor: No, that's because there is NO cartilage in your knee, and not much of any use in your elbows or your shoulders. Between that and the scar tissue on your kidneys, the resid...
[Two traders are getting their shoes shined] Trader #2: You can't short the stock because Bruce Wayne goes to a party. Trader #1: Wayne coming back is change. Change is either good or bad. I pick bad. Trader #2: On what basis? Trader #1: I flipped a ...
[first lines] Driver: [on phone] There's a hundred-thousand streets in this city. You don't need to know the route. You give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. ...
Alex: [Refering to the dog] This is Sammy Davis Jr. Jr... She is Grandfather's Seeing Eye bitch. Father purchased her for him not because he believes Grandfather is blind, but because a Seeing Eye bitch is also a good thing for people who pine for th...
Mary X: [to the crying baby] Shut up! [Baby continues to cry] Mary X: I can't take it anymore! I'm going home! Henry Spencer: What are you talking about? Mary X: All I need is a decent night's sleep! Henry Spencer: Why don't you just stay home... Mar...
Chris MacNeil: You show me Regan's double, same face, same voice, everything. And I'd know it wasn't Regan. I'd know in my gut. And I'm telling you that 'thing' upstairs isn't my daughter. Now, I want you to tell me that you know for a fact that ther...
First Man at Auto Shop: Here's where the infant's head went through the wind-shield. Three points. Man #2 at Auto Shop: The teenager's braces are still wrapped around the backseat ashtray. Might make a good anti-smoking ad. First Man at Auto Shop: Th...
Ray Kinsella: I bet it's good to be playing again, huh? Shoeless Joe Jackson: Getting thrown out of baseball was like having part of me amputated. I've heard that old men wake up and scratch itchy legs that been dust for over fifty years. That was me...
[demonstrating a weapon] Zorg: Voila! The ZF-1. [the weapon opens, and Zorg picks it up] Zorg: It's light. Handle's adjustable for easy carrying, good for righties and lefties. Breaks down into four parts, undetectable by x-ray, ideal for quick, disc...
Forrest Gump: Will you marry me? [Jenny turns and looks at him] Forrest Gump: I'd make a good husband, Jenny. Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest. Forrest Gump: ...But you won't marry me. Jenny Curran: [sadly] ... You don't wanna marry me. Forrest Gump:...
