Valentine: You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escap...
Keith: I had it all figured out, so I cut out early? Who cares? It's probably a good thing. Life sucks, anyway. Then I met you, and it got weird. And you were so amazing. And I... Natalie: What? What? Keith: I just wanted a little more time. So all i...
Jelly Roll Morton: [Jelly Roll Morton enters the hall for the duel, meeting 1900 for the first time] I believe you're sitting in my seat. 1900: [stands, good-naturedly] You're the one that invented jazz, right? Jelly Roll Morton: That's what they say...
[Taking the gifts from the Three Wise Men and pushing them out the door] Brian's mother: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time...
Bud White: Bullshit. How would a two-bit hick like Meeks get his hands on a large supply of heroin? Johnny Stompanato: You're right, it's probably bullshit. Even if he did, he could never unload it. Not without drawing all kinds of attention. Bud Whi...
Constance Harraway: The TA just finished transcribing all the governor's radio and TV comments. Listen to this gem: Journalist - "Governor, don't you think three executions in one week is a little excessive?" Governor - "I say let's bring them in, st...
Zazu: I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way. So you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning. Scar: [sees the mouse scampering off] Oh, now look, Zazu, you made me lose my lunch. Zazu: Ha! You'll lose more than t...
Little Horse: [an obvious "two-spirit" Indian approaches Jack] Little Big Man! You have returned. Don't you remember me? That hurts me deep in my heart. Jack Crabb: [voiceover] It was Little Horse; the boy who wouldn't go on the raid against the Pawn...
Mathilda: You killed my brother. Stansfield: I'm sorry. And you want to join him? Mathilda: No. Stansfield: It's always the same thing. It's when you start to become really afraid of death that you learn to appreciate life. Do you like life, sweethea...
Slevin: You're not as tall as I thought you'd be. Lindsey: Well, I'm short for my height. Slevin: That makes sense because I can usually tell how tall someone is by their knock. You have a deceptively tall knock. Congratulations. Lindsey: So it's a g...
[Algren and Katsumoto ride up to Bagley, who sees that Algren has turned against him] Colonel Bagley: Good God... Sir, the Imperial Army of Japan demands your surrender. If you and your fellas lay down your arms, you will not be harmed. Katsumoto: Th...
[a nightmare switches between a ladies' garden club and a Soviet/Chinese military hospital] Chairlady: You will notice that I have told them they may smoke. I've allowed my people to have a little fun in the selection of bizarre tobacco substitutes.....
Lisa: You should be sleeping, baby. Pita: I'm trying, Mom Lisa: Good news. You're going back to school Pita: When? Lisa: Samuel is going to hire a new bodyguard. It may take a few days, but you're going back Pita: Could he speak English? Emilio could...
Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today? Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night. Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away? Roz: Don't let it ha...
President Barack Obama: Rizvan Khan, it's good to see you hale and hearty. You on TV more than me now, huh? Rizwan Khan: You already know my name? President Barack Obama: Yes I do. Your name is Khan. Rizwan Khan: Yes. President Barack Obama: And you ...
Walt Bishop: Be advised, the two of you will never see each other again. Those were your last words. Do you understand? Suzy: I'd be careful if I were you. One of these days, somebody's gonna get pushed too far. And who knows what they're capable of?...
Distraught Male Voice: I just can't go on. I'm not good any more, goodbye... goodbye... aaaargh... Aaaargh. [a leaf falls to the ground] Distraught Female Voice: Oh my God. What'll I do? I can't live without him... I... aaaargh. [Another leaf falls] ...
Mushu: The truth is we're both frauds. Your ancestors never sent me, they don't even like me. But you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. [Cri-Kee chirps sadly at Mushu] Mushu...
[flashback] Leonard Shelby: How can you read that again? Leonard's Wife: It's good. Leonard Shelby: Yeah, but you read it like a thousand times. Leonard's Wife: I enjoy it. Leonard Shelby: I always thought the pleasure of a book was wanting to know w...
Paul House: Well, what do you buy a woman who has everything? Lillian House: We already own twin cemetery plots. Larry Lipton: I always think a Bentley is in good taste. Or, you could go the route I did and buy her a set of handkerchiefs. Carol Lipto...
Jane: Good morning, father! George W. Banks: [grumbles] 'Morning. Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word! Michael: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about, supercal... super... or whateve...
