I was still alive. Ha! Take that kidnappers. Still alive. Maybe it was my butt that was feeding me. I always thought it was kind of round. I bet my body was eating up all the fat stores from my butt now. Yeah. See, having a big ass is a good thing. G...
I’m not a superhero. I’m background. I’m a good person wrapped in mediocre soul. I want to be better. I really do. But even now in my greatest moment I know this is as good as it will ever get for me and it’s not that good. I have a small hea...
Contrary to popular opinion, manners are not a luxury good that's interesting only to those who can afford to think about them. The essence of good manners is not exclusivity, nor exclusion of any kind, but sensitivity. To practice good manners is to...
I haven't read much, but it still seems impossible to me that anyone, no matter how much he read, could've read every book in the world. There must be so many of them, and I don't mean every single book, good and bad, just the good ones. There must b...
Had God kept from being made those who through His goodness were to have existence, but who by their own choice were to become evil, then evil would have prevailed over the goodness of God. Thus, all things which God makes He makes good, but each one...
Sporting Goods Clerk: Tent poles? Llewelyn Moss: Mmm-hmm. Sporting Goods Clerk: You already have a tent? Llewelyn Moss: Well, somethin' like that. Sporting Goods Clerk: Well, you give me the model number on the tent, I can order you the poles. Llewel...
H.L. Mencken once said that Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time. As she looked down at her dead child, Mary Beth realized that the unbearable sense of loss she felt was tempered by gratitude and a kind o...
That which is exceptionally good is a forerunner of something bad.
All earthly goods we have only on loan.
Cheap meat never makes a good soup.
A good cock can never have too many hens.
Work is good provided you do not forget to live.
A good bee never lands on a fallen flower.
A good storyteller must be able to lie a little.
The greatest virtue is like water; good for everything.
To have beautiful servant girls is a threat to good marriages.
A good neighbor increases the value of your property.
Bad is never good until worse happens.
Good drink drives out bad thoughts.
It's good to watch the rain from a dry standpoint.
A bad compromise is better than a good lawsuit.
