Quotes of: Good-book Keyword

I know sex sells. I also know gametes are sex cells. Her and I had chemistry together, and that’s just biology.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The birds fly south for the winter not because it’s cold, but because they have wings. Similarly, love has the ultimate flight pattern, and that pattern is plaid.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up about life, but not about love. Or maybe I mixed that up.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’ve had the paperwork sitting on my desk for the past nine months, waiting to be filled out and sent in. I feel like I’ve given birth to procrastination.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It takes a lot of commitment to sit on a committee. Only the most courageous could boldly command all that power, yet remain detached from any personal blame.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I were to be elected World Leader someday, I’d wear an outfit made of Band-Aids, as a symbolic gesture of sticking together, healing, and the blood soon to be spilt.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If a building were shaped like a body, I’d imagine you’d exit out the rear.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m very proud of my body of work. You should see it naked sometime.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I would visit Hawaii, but I’m not that strong of a swimmer. My strength is all in my heart, and I love like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body looks.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Books. People have no idea how beautiful books are. How they taste on your fingers. How bright everything is when you light it with words.

Tolstoy Lied: A Love Story

Are you smarter than my brain in a jar? Have a pickle while you ponder it.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I know a lot about forming personal connections with people. Not from, you know, personal interaction or anything, but from reading about it alone, in silence.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It may be 9:01 am, and I may have a 9-5 business, but if you are a politician, I’m closed. Come back at 5:01—and bring your own coffin.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My business associate said, “OK, Jarod, let’s talk turkey.” And I said, “If you want to talk turkey, you’ll have to wait until Thanksgiving.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

With my wedding photography business, I want repeat customers. So hooray for divorce! That’s why I take lots of pictures—of cheating spouses.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to do something for a living that when it comes time to retire and I can stop doing it, I’ll want to continue doing it in my free time.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have a bedroom rug that I feed. It’s not very flat, and it meows when I step on it.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

My workout partner is a cat. We nap together. He spots me a place, and keeps it warm, and then as soon as I spot him I go to him and cuddle.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Your dead cat would look great on my t-shirt—along with tire tracks on my chest. What better time is there to love than now?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My cat’s favorite chew toy is a pen. I’d wager that he is a better writer than me.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks