[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister] Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir. Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've sa...
Scuttle: You see the snarfblatt dates back to pre-hysterical times when humans would sit around and stare at each other all day. [long pause] Scuttle: got very boring. So they invented this snarfblatt to make fine music, allow me! [Attempts to blow t...
Maggie Fitzgerald: She's tough, I can't go inside, I can't get close enough to hit her. Frankie Dunn: You know why that is? Maggie Fitzgerald: Why? Frankie Dunn: Cause she's a better fighter than you are, that's why. She's younger, she's stronger, an...
Maggie Fitzgerald: We're flying? Frankie Dunn: Would you rather drive? Maggie Fitzgerald: You're askin' me? Frankie Dunn: Would you rather fly or would you rather drive? Maggie Fitzgerald: So, I finally get to decide something? Frankie Dunn: That's w...
Jordan: Look, Sammy, all my clients have, uh, kidnap and ransom insurance. Samuel: I have a policy. A.I.G. My dad gave it to me. Jordan: Yeah, I know. I got it for your dad. But what are you gonna do in sixty days when you can't renew it? You can't, ...
Painless: I wasn't gonna fool around out here because I got these three girls I'm engaged to back home. Hawkeye Pierce: And you wanted to be faithful to them. Baby, you are 7,000 miles from home, you're... Painless: Well anyway, I took her out and......
Sheba Hart: So that's your vicious father? Steven Connolly: You wanted a sob story, I gave it to you. Made you feel like Bob Geldof. Sheba Hart: You lied to me! Steven Connolly: Ooooh, sorry, Miss! What, would you prefer it if I lived in a shithole? ...
[In 1968, Noodles meets a familiar figure in heavy make-up... ] Noodles: Hello, Deborah. [For a long time, Deborah is silent and still] Noodles: Aren't you gonna say anything? Deborah Gelly: What is someone supposed to say after... after more than th...
Bugsy: [Bugsy and his gang have beaten Noodles and Max] You don't work for me, you don't work for no-one! Young Max: I don't like bosses. Bugsy: You'd be better off you stayed in the Bronx. Young Max: Woulda been better for *you*, too! [Bugsy spits o...
Peter Gibbons: Boy, I'll tell ya, some days... One of these days it's just gonna be like... [He mimics the sound of a machine gun. Brian, a waiter, walks up and does the same and laughs] Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter: So can I get you gentlemen something...
Peter Gibbons: [discussing the possibility of going to prison] This isn't Riyadh. You know they're not gonna saw your hands off here, alright? The worst they would ever do is they would put you for a couple of months into a white-collar, minimum-secu...
Ulysses Everett McGill: Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train? Penny Wharvey McGill: Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent...
Rocky: I been comin' here for six years, and for six years ya been stickin' it to me, an' I wanna know how come! Mickey: Ya don't wanna know! Rocky: I wanna know how come! Mickey: Ya wanna know? Rocky: I WANNA KNOW HOW! Mickey: OK, I'm gonna tell ya!...
Peter Bradley: [interviewing Eli Cash on television] Now, your previous novel... Eli: Yes, Wildcat. Peter Bradley: Not a success. Why? Eli: Well... Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular... [long pause as he starts to become spaced out]...
Stanley Kowalski: Now that's how I'm gonna clear the table. Don't you ever talk that way to me. 'Pig,' 'Pollack,' 'disgusting,' 'vulgar,' 'greasy.' Those kind of words have been on your tongue and your sister's tongue just too much around here. What ...
Herbie Hawkins: Well, if I was gonna kill you, I wouldn't do a dumb thing like hitting you on the head. First of all, I don't like the fingerprint angle. Of course, I could always wear gloves. Press your hands against the pipe after you were dead and...
Young Charlie: We just sort of go along and nothing happens. We're in a terrible rut. It's been on my mind for months. What's gonna be our future? Joseph Newton: Oh, come now, Charlie. Things aren't as bad as that. The bank gave me a raise last Janua...
Kay Eiffel: [narrating] It wasn't just about finding a guitar. It was about finding a guitar that said something about Harold. Unfortunately, this guitar said: "When I get back to Georgia, that woman gonna feel my pain." This one said something along...
Sugar: [after running back to the room to tell Josephine about the millionaire, Joe's other alter ego, and finding she's not there] Well I'll be back later. Jerry: Oh no you wait. I have a feeling she'll show up any minute. Sugar: Believe it or not, ...
Auggie Wren: If it happens it happens. If it doesn't it doesn't. You understand what I'm sayin'? You never know what's gonna happen next. And the moment you think you do, that's the moment you don't know a goddamn thing. This is what we call a parado...
Red: [narrating] There's a harsh truth to face. No way I'm gonna make it on the outside. All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole, so maybe they'd send me back. Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well....
