[Deborah cleans up the bar while the rest of the family is out. Noodles walks in] Young Deborah: What are you doing? Young Noodles: Give me a drink. Young Deborah: We're closed. Nice people don't drink on Pesach, they go to the synagogue. Young Noodl...
Max: Ladies and gents, I drink to the demise of Fat Moe's speakeasy. Who the hell wants to drink here legally anyway, am I right? Okay, come on, Moe, set them up! Go on, get in there! [raises a toast] Max: Here's mud in your eye! Boys, let's drink to...
[Shaking Billy Tim Denham's hand] Frank: You have lovely hands. Do you moisturize? Billy Tim Denham: I'm Sorry? Frank: [as he slowly crushes Denham's hand in his grip] You know, I've tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a w...
Nurse Ratched: Aren't you ashamed? Billy: No, I'm not. [Applause from friends] Nurse Ratched: You know Billy, what worries me is how your mother is going to take this. Billy: Um, um, well, y-y-y-you d-d-d-don't have to t-t-t-tell her, Miss Ratched. N...
Del: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you...
Neal: What's the flight situation? Del: Simple. There's no way on earth we're going to get out of here tonight. We'd have more luck playing pickup sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak. Neal: I guess we...
Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him. Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk. Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between most...
General Broulard: It would be a pity to lose your promotion before you get it. A promotion you have so very carefully planned for. Colonel Dax: Sir, would you like me to suggest what you can do with that promotion? General Broulard: [angry] Colonel D...
Capitán Vidal: I'll make you a deal. If you can count to three without st-t-uttering you can go. Don't look at him look at me. Above me there is no one. Garces! Garcés: Yes Captain? Capitán Vidal: If I say this asshole can leave would anybody here...
Max Bialystock: Don't you see, darling Bloom, glorious Bloom? It's so simple. STEP ONE: We find the worst play ever written, a surefire flop. STEP TWO: I raise a million bucks. Lots of little old ladies out there. STEP THREE: You go back to work on t...
The Count: To all our listeners, this is what I have to say - God bless you all. And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. Years will come, years will go, and politicians will do fuck all to make the world a better place. But all over...
[on the phone] Charlie: Candice, I killed Aunt Helen, didn't I? She died getting my birthday present, so I guess I killed her, right? I tried to stop thinking that, but I can't. She keeps driving away and dying and I can't stop her. Am I crazy, Canda...
[Marion and Belloq are both very drunk] Marion: [laughs] What is this stuff, Rene? Belloq: [laughing as well] I grew up on this. It's my family label. [Marion falls to the ground laughing then calmly and quickly pulls out the knife she was concealing...
Roosevelt: The entire outer skin will be like this. Tyler: It's titanium, laminated with kevlar. Roosevelt: Go ahead. Shake his hand. [the robotic arm extends to shake Morton's hand] Bob Morton: Come here often? How you doin'? Bob Morton: [cringes as...
Mr. Pink: He seems okay now, but he was crazy in the store. Mr. White: This is what he was doing. [mimics randomly shooting innocent bystanders] Mr. White: Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Mr. Blonde: Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I told 'em not to touch the ala...
Irving Radovich: Hey, er, anybody ever tell you you're a dead ringer for... [Joe kicks him under the table] Irving Radovich: Ow! Well, I guess I'll be going! Joe Bradley: Oh, don't do a thing like that, Irving. Sit down, join us, join us. Irving Rado...
Chuck Yeager: [NASA recruiters are talking to test pilots] You need lab rabbits. Recruiter: Sorry, I didn't get that. Chuck Yeager: I said you need lab rabbits to curl up in your damn capsule. With its heart going "pitter-patter". And a wire up the k...
Joey Gazelle: [On the Ice, about to be hit with slap shots] Don't you do this Frankie. Don't you motherfucking do this! Motherfucker! Don't fucking do this! Don't hurt that motherfucking kid, you fuck! Perello: [laughing] You fucked up, Joey. You fuc...
Coach Boone: What, you say your name was Jerry? Bertier: [annoyed] Gerry. Coach Boone: No, you must have said Jerry. Jerry Lewis, which you make *you* [looks towards Dean] Coach Boone: Dean Martin. [towards parents] Coach Boone: Ladies and gentleman!...
[first lines] Luke: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me? Han Solo: Loud and clear, kid. What's up? Luke: Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings. Han Solo: There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a ...
[Chewbacca is fixing C-3PO] C-3PO: Oh, yes, that's very good, I like that... Oh! [the lights in his eyes go out] C-3PO: Well, now, something's not right, because now I can't see! [Chewie fiddles with something and his eyes turn back on] C-3PO: Oh, oh...
