Captain of Guards: What have you got? Old Woman: Well, I have a talking donkey. Captain of Guards: Really? Well, that's good for ten shillings... if you can prove it. Old Woman: Go ahead, little fella. [Donkey says nothing] Captain of Guards: Well? O...
Joe Starrett: These old-timers, they just can't see it yet, but runnin' cattle on an open range just can't go on forever. It takes too much space for too little results. Those herds aren't any good, they're all horns and bone. Now, cattle that is bre...
Avi: You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London. [Avi arrives in London] Doug the Head: Avi! Avi: Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don...
[Brick-Top's men have Turkish pinned on the floor. Errol raises a sword to strike, then Tommy appears with his dud pistol] Tommy: Turkish, get your arse up. Any of you lot follow me, and I'll fucking shoot you. Errol: Calm down son, behave yourself. ...
Officer Michaels: It was my semen. One time we walk into a murder house, blood everywhere, I go on, I think I find a bit of semen, clean it off. Long story short. Cream of wheat. Officer Slater: Yup. Dope. Officer Michaels: In short. Officer Slater: ...
Warden Samuel Norton: [as Mozart music is playing on the phonograph, the Warden comes to bang on the door] Open the door. Open it up! Dufresne, open this door! Turn that off! [Andy acts like he is going to do as he says] Warden Samuel Norton: I am wa...
Head Bull Haig: Dufresne? Get your ass out here boy, you're holding up the show! [no answer] Head Bull Haig: Don't make me come down there or I'll thump your skull for you! [Still no answer. Glaring, Haig stalks down the tier, clipboard in hand. His ...
Parker: [firing machine gun] I'm out of .30 Caliber! Private Jackson: [lining shots] Bleesed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight. [fires rifle twice] Private Jackson: My goodness and my fortress... my h...
Don Lockwood: I'm no actor. I never was. Just a bunch of dumb show. I know that now. Cosmo Brown: Well, at least you're taking it lying down. Don Lockwood: No. No kidding, Cosmo. Did you ever see anything as ridiculous as me on that screen tonight? K...
Don Lockwood: Which of my pictures have you seen? Kathy: I don't remember. I saw one once. Don Lockwood: You saw one once? Kathy: Yes, I think you were dueling and there was a girl - Lina Lamont. But I don't go to the movies much. If you've seen one ...
[the stagecoach occupants vote on whether to continue without a cavalry escort] Marshal Curly Wilcox: You, Doc? Dr. Josiah Boone: I'm not only a philosopher, sir, I'm a fatalist. Somewhere, sometime, there may be the right bullet or the wrong bottle ...
Satan: Saddam, I need to talk to you Saddam Hussein: Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time. Satan: [sighs] sometimes you can love someone very much, but still know they aren't right for you. Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* ar...
Jimmy: Hey, Shakespeare! How's it going? Joe Turner: Terrific. I'm building up a great collection of rejection slips. Jimmy: [as he prepares Turner's lunch order] Yeah, I know the feeling. I always wanted to be Escoffier. Joe Turner: Well, maybe it's...
Alonzo: Today's a training day, Officer Hoyt. Show you around, give you a taste of the business. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can't clear. I supervise five officers. That's five different persona...
Sam: The specialty of the groups coming out of this area is trafficking in women. Bryan: Keep going. Sam: Okay. Their previous MO was to offer women from the emerging East-European countries like Yugoslavia, Romania, Bulgaria jobs in the west as maid...
L.J. Washington: I don't really come from outer space. Jeffrey Goines: Oh. L. J. Washington. He doesn't really come from outer space. L.J. Washington: Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, pa...
Valentine: Excuse me... the door was open. I'm sorry, I think I ran over your dog. Rita. A German Shepherd. The Judge: [Displaying little interest] It's possible. She disappeared yesterday. Valentine: She's in my car. Alive. I don't know what to do. ...
Nicholson: You just made it big time. Nicky Dimes: You're no longer an extra... Nicholson: ...or a bit player... Nicky Dimes: ...or a supporting actor... Nicholson: ...you're a fucking star. You are a fucking star. And you are going to be playing you...
Vilos Cohaagen: [Cohaagen has Quaid strapped into a memory machine and is about to turn him back into Hauser] Relax, Quaid. You'll like being Hauser. Douglas Quaid: The guy's a fucking asshole! Vilos Cohaagen: Not true! He's one of my best friends. B...
Joey Naylor: Mom, why can't I go to California? Jill Naylor: Because, California's just not a safe place. And besides, I'm not sure it's appropriate for your father to bring you on a business trip. Joey Naylor: Appropriate for who? Jill Naylor: What?...
George Fields: OK, I know this is going to disgust you, Michael, but a lot of people are in this business to make money. Michael Dorsey: You make it out like I'm some flake, George. I am in this business to make money, too. George Fields: Really? Mic...
