Robert Wakefield: Look, we need to take down either of these cartels: either Juarez or Tijuana. Not because they're a symbol but... hell, they are a symbol! But because we need to send a message! When Carlos Ayala hires Michael Addler as his legal de...
Bob McClane: What is it that is exactly the same about every single vacation you have ever taken? Douglas Quaid: I give up. Bob McClane: You! You're the same. No matter where you go, there you are. It's always the same old you. Let me suggest that yo...
Douglas Quaid: Ever heard of Rekall? They sell those fake memories. Harry: Oh, "Rekall, Rekall, Rekall." You thinking of going there? Douglas Quaid: I don't know, maybe. Harry: Well, don't. A friend of mine tried one their "special offers," nearly go...
Dr. Lull: [after Quaid goes crazy at Rekall] Listen to me, he's been going on and on about Mars. He's really been there. Bob McClane: Use your head, you dumb bitch! He's just acting out the secret agent portion of his Ego Trip. Dr. Lull: I'm afraid t...
Douglas Quaid: What do you want? Dr. Edgemar: This is going to be very difficult for you at accept, Mr. Quaid. Douglas Quaid: I'm listening. Dr. Edgemar: I'm afraid you're not really standing here right now. Douglas Quaid: You know, Doc, you could ha...
Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay? Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon. Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Fro...
Woody: Hey! Who moved my doodle pad way over here? Rex: [jumps in front of Woody] ROAR! Woody: Hey, how ya doin', Rex. Rex: [stops roaring] Were you scared? Tell me honestly. Woody: I was close to being scared that time. Rex: I'm going for fearsome h...
Joey Naylor: Why are you hiding from everyone? Nick Naylor: It has something to do with being generally hated right now. Joey Naylor: But it's your job to be generally hated. Nick Naylor: It's more complicated then that, Joey. Joey Naylor: You're jus...
[Jack and Fabrizio are playing poker in a bar in front of the port] Jack: All right, the moment of truth. Somebody's life is about to change. Fabrizio? Niente. Fabrizio: Niente. Jack: Olaf? Nothing. Sven? Oh... two pairs. I'm sorry, Fabrizio. Fabrizi...
Ness: Come on Capone! You wanna fight? You wanna settle it right now? Right here? Let's go! Capone: Listen to me here! You ain't got nothin' on me, nothin'! You're just a cop! Fuck you and your family! Ness: Fuh... know what? [Ness goes to pull his g...
Deke Thornton: [addressing his posse] You think Pike and old Sykes haven't been watchin' us. They know what this is all about - and what do I have? Nothin' but you egg-suckin', chicken stealing gutter trash with not even sixty rounds between you. We'...
Owen: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave! Duncan: What? Owen: Yeah. You're going to have to take off. We're getting complaints. You're having way too much fun. It's making everyone uncomfortable. Duncan: Okay. [he gets up to leave] Owen: H...
Dick: When I was a kid, I used to see men go off on this kind of jobs... and not come back. When they did, they were wrecks. Their hair had turned white and their hands were shaking like palsy! You don't know what fear is. But you'll see. It's catchi...
Mrs. Teevee: [as the Wonkatania starts to move] I think I'm going to be seasick! Willy Wonka: [handing something to Mrs. Teevee] Here, take these. Mrs. Teevee: What are they? Willy Wonka: Rainbow drops. Suck them and you can spit in seven different c...
Stanley Kael, Second Newscaster: Four down, one to go, and somewhere out there a lucky person is moving closer and closer to the most sought after prize in history. Though we cannot help but envy whoever he is, and we may feel bitter, but we must rem...
Willy Wonka: [In the Wonkavator] Faster, faster; if we don't pick up enough speed, we'll never get through! Charlie Bucket: Get through what? Willy Wonka: Aha! Grandpa Joe: You mean we're going...? Willy Wonka: Up and out! Grandpa Joe: But this roof ...
Marwood: Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood si...
Withnail: Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Marwood: Your sensitivity overwhelms me. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up he...
Guy Forsyth: Did you ever have a job that you hated and worked real hard at? A long, hard day of work. Finally you get to go home, get in bed, close your eyes and immediately you wake up and realize... that the whole day at work had been a dream. It'...
Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, wher...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
