Alexander Rance: This is Mr. Rance in the bridal suite and before you proffer your phony congratulations there is no Mrs. Rance residing with me and I'm all the better for it. Now, listen carefully because I am in no mood. I'm going to say this only ...
Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max? Max Fischer: The secret? Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out. Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest...
Coach Boone: We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a ...
[Duke wants to know who the German spy is] Sefton: It's no use, Schulz, you might as well come clean. Why don't you just tell them it's me, because I'm really the illegitimate son of Hitler, and after the Germans win the war, you're going to make me ...
Jayden: Please don't be offended if I'm not very friendly, but I'm going to be living with my dad soon, and I don't really like wasting time on short-term relationships. So, you know, it's nothing personal. Luis: Wow. She seems like a really nice gir...
C-3PO: [on Han's escape plan] I really don't see how that is going to help! Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances! The Empire may be gracious enough to... [Han signals to Leia, who shuts 3PO down]
P.L. Travers: Aren't you going to pour it for us? Polly: You're perfectly capable of pouring it your self. P.L. Travers: She's quite the worst maid I've ever had. Diarmuid Russell: So why do you keep her? P.L. Travers: I don't know. She reminds me of...
Pete: It's four in the fucking morning! Shaun: It's Saturday! Pete: No, it's not. It's fucking Sunday. And I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours 'cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I'm S...
Ed: Do you want your messages? Shaun: What? Ed: Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight. Shaun: *What*...
Sugar: [on the yacht Junior's pretending he owns] Which is the port and which is the starboard? Junior: Well that depends. That depends on whether you're coming or going. I mean, *normally*, normally, the aft is on the other side of the stern. But - ...
Shrek: Go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Donkey: Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the Princess. Shrek: The Princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. Donkey: How do you know that? Shrek: I read it in ...
Sherlock Holmes: There's only at one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings, they appear most... sinister. Mrs. Hudson: Tea, Mr. Holmes? Sherlock Holmes: Is...
[Bond and M drive off in the Aston Martin DB5] M: It's not very comfortable, is it? James Bond: [Flips up the shift knob cap to reveal the ejector seat button underneath] Are you gonna complain all the way? M: Oh, go on, then, eject me. See if I care...
[last lines] Spock: [closing monologue] Space: the final frontier. These are the continuing voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations, to boldly go where n...
[Gorgeous George has just been knocked out] Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George. Brick Top: Shhh. You're going to have to repeat that. Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George. Brick Top: Well, where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is ...
[from a deleted scene] Errol: You're a dead man, Tony! You hear me? A fucking dead man! Brick Top: Oi! What's going on in there? Errol: He's pissed in my fucking pocket! Brick Top: Oh, shut up, Errol. Get back in your fucking pram. Tony, ain't you ho...
Don Lockwood: I just had to tell you how good you were. Kathy Selden: Excuse me. Don Lockwood: No, no, don't go. [pointing to cake she came out of at beginning of scene] Don Lockwood: Now that I know where you live I'd like to see you home.
Don Lockwood: I do hope you're going to favor us with something special tonight. Kathy Selden: Please! Don Lockwood: Say, Hamlet's soliloquy, or the balcony scene from "Romeo and Juliet." Kathy Selden: Mr. Lockwood! Don Lockwood: Don't be shy. You'd ...
Stan: Hey you guys I found the clitoris. I think I can get Wendy to like me again. Cartman: Yeah I guess all's well that end's well. We can go home now. You dipshit!
Uncle Owen: Luke! Take these two over to the garage will ya? I want 'em cleaned up before dinner Luke: But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters! Uncle Owen: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. N...
Calloway: Go home Martins, like a sensible chap. You don't know what you're mixing in, get the next plane. Martins: As soon as I get to the bottom of this, I'll get the next plane. Calloway: Death's at the bottom of everything, Martins. Leave death t...