Eddie Valiant: [after discovering the flattened Doom getting up and wobbling to his feet] Holy smoke, he's a Toon! Judge Doom: Surprised? Eddie Valiant: Not really. That lame-brained freeway idea could only be cooked up by a Toon. Judge Doom: Not jus...
Jordan Belfort: People say shit... I mean like, you married your cousin or some stupid shit. Donnie Azoff: Yeah, my wife is my cousin or whatever, but it's not like what you think. Jordan Belfort: Is she like, a first cousin? Donnie Azoff: Her father...
Jordan Belfort: [Wakes up on plane; finds he is restrained by a seatbelt across his chest] Oh, Jesus Christ. Fuck. Donnie. Donnie this isn't... this isn't funny, you gotta untie me, buddy. Donnie Azoff: I can't untie you! The captain tied you up, he ...
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend t...
Rachel Lapp: [Book and Carter are driving around a rough neighborhood looking for a suspect that fits Samuel's description, with Rachel and Samuel in tow] Where are you taking us? John Book: I'm sorry... we're looking for a suspect in the area, we'd ...
Chief Paul Schaeffer: Calling me at home. I can't trace the call. That's smart, John, very smart. John Book: Lost the meaning, did you, Paul? Chief Paul Schaeffer: What? John Book: Isn't that what you used to say about dirty cops? Somewhere along the...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That music... Frau Blücher: Yes. It's in your blood - it's in the blood of ALL Frankensteins. It reaches the soul when words are useless. Your grandfather used to play it to the creature HE vas making. Dr. Frederick Frank...
Tenoch: How many times did you fuck her? Julio Zapata: Once, we were really wasted Tenoch: When did you do it Julio Zapata: I don't know Tenoch: Tell me when! Julio Zapata: When you went to Lake Tahoe Tenoch: Where was Cecilia? Julio Zapata: She was ...
Marilyn Lovell: [Jim is standing outside, looking up at the moon, covering and uncovering it with his thumb. Marilyn comes out with a garbage bag] You're drunk, Lovell. Jim Lovell: Yeah, I'm not used to the champagne. Marilyn Lovell: Me neither... [S...
William 'Bill' Pogue, CAPCOM: Aquarius, watch that middle gimbal. We don't want you tumbling off into space. Jim Lovell: Freddo, inform Houston I'm well aware of the God-damned gimbals! Fred Haise, Sr.: [calmly] Roger that, Houston. Jim Lovell: I don...
[Alvy is having sex with Annie] Alvy Singer: Hey, is something wrong? Annie Hall: No, why? Alvy Singer: I don't know. It's like you're removed. [a ghost of Annie rises from herself, and sits in a chair to watch] Annie Hall: No, I'm fine. Alvy Singer:...
Boon: Where are you going? We just got here. Katy: No, Boon, you just got here. I've been downstairs for an hour entertaining some kid from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas. Boon: Umm - maybe we could drive up to your folks' place this weekend. Katy: Oh, fabu...
Genie: So, what'll it be, Master? Aladdin: You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right? Genie: [as William F. Buckley] Uh, almost. There are a few, uh, provisos, a, a couple of quid pro quos. Aladdin: Like? Genie: [normal] Uh, rule #1: I can...
[Captain America throws his shield between Iron Man and Thor, stopping their fight in the woods] Steve Rogers: Hey! That's enough! [Captain America looks at Thor] Steve Rogers: Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here. Thor: I've come here to pu...
Batman: [has laid a snare-trap which yanks Flass by his leg 70 feet into the air] Where were the other drugs going? Flass: I never knew. I don't know. I swear to God... Batman: Swear to *me*! [He rapidly lowers a screaming Flass and then yanks him ba...
John Bender: [Imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. [Imitating his Mother] John Bender: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. [Father's voice] John B...
Jack Lipnick: Look Bart, barring a preference we're going to put you on a wrestling picture, Wallace Beery. I say this because they tell me you know the poetry of the streets, so that would rule out westerns, pirate pictures, screwball, Bible, Roman....
Floris: Welcome to Lestercorp. How may we meet your filing needs? Craig Schwartz: No, no. Um... my name's Craig Schwartz. I have an interview with Dr. Lester. Floris: Oh. Please have a seat, Mr. Juarez. Craig Schwartz: Schwartz. Floris: Pardon? Craig...
Hedley Lamarr: As per your instructions, I'd like you to meet the new sheriff of Rock Ridge. Governor William J. Le Petomane: I'd be delighted. [extends his hand, then yanks it away on seeing Bart] Governor William J. Le Petomane: Wow! [whistles, the...
Harlan Pepper: I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put ...
But you didn’t mention Orrigar I, the first king of the House of Chaldarina. He put an end to years of unrest and civil strife. Neither did you mention Ronnick II, the one who reformed the monetary system and forbade the Great Houses to mint their ...
