Personally, I belong to the speedy school of golf. If it were left up to me, I would introduce a new rule that said every golf ball has to stay in motion from the moment it leaves the tee to the moment it plops into the hole, thus obliging each playe...
I hate often and easily. I hate, for example, people who sit with their legs splayed. People who claim to give 110 percent. People who call themselves "comfortable" when what they mean is decadently rich. You're so judgmental, my shrink tells me, and...
I'm going to keep it real gully with you; the first two months, I wanted to give him back. I expected someone to come and save me because after you have the baby, nobody cares about you anymore. Nobody cares if you sleep, nobody cares if you eat. It'...
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told. Catherine Martin: Please mister, let me go! My family will give you anything you want! Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets...
I don't know whether I have ideas all the time. I think I'm curious about things all the time; I think I'm always curious, and I think I'm always interested in whatever passes by, and I know I tend to think about things, and I tend to talk about thin...
Officer Foltz: [giving kids a tour of the station] See kids, this is where we bring suspects in order to be detained. Trust me, you do not want to be sitting in these seats. We call this place "Loserville". [shows Alan, Phil, and Stu, a fat kid comes...
Dean McCoppin: Sorry about the crowbar, kid. You'd be surprised how many people want to steal scrap. But, man, once I make it into art, I can't give it away. I mean, what am I? A junkman who makes art or an artist who sells junk? You tell me.
Frank T.J. Mackey: Do you think they're your friends? They're not your friends. Do you really think she'll be there when things go bad? Huh? When things go wrong? You think again. Fucking Denise. Denise the piece. Oh, you're gonna give me that cherry...
Ulysses Everett McGill: What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy? Tommy Johnson: Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good. Delmar O'Donnell: Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul? Tommy Johnson: Well, I wasn't usin' it.
Inigo Montoya: But this is Buttercup's true love - If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck's wedding. Miracle Max: Wait. Wait. I make him better, Humperdinck suffers? Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore! Miracle Max: That is a noble cause. Give me t...
Rooster Cogburn: Give me your cup. Mattie Ross: I don't drink coffee, thank you. Rooster Cogburn: Well, now, what do you drink? Mattie Ross: I'm partial to cold buttermilk. Rooster Cogburn: Well, we ain't got none of that. We ain't got no lemonade ne...
Marwood: [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] Give me a downer, Danny. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! Danny: Change down, man. Find your neutral space. You got a rush. It'll pass. Be seated. Marwood: Aren't you getting absurdly hig...
Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say? Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of ...
Indian street magic tends to be very gory, blood and guts. One trick is for a magician to take a knife and appear to cut his kid's head almost off. The magician then says to the crowd, 'Well I can continue to cut off my son's head or you can all give...
When I finished performing 'I Won't Give Up' for the first time, I opened my eyes, and I think there was maybe six people in there when I started, and when I finished there was about 30 people, all standing around with their jaws dropped in complete ...
I think if I ever stopped pushing myself, I would revert quickly to quite repetitive, restrictive behaviour. But in pushing myself and concentrating on what I can do, I think I can contribute to society. And that gives me the desire to keep pushing, ...
Harry Rosenfeld: Bernstein, why don't you finish one story before trying to get on another? Carl Bernstein: I finished it. Harry Rosenfeld: The Virginia legislature story? Carl Bernstein: I finished it. Harry Rosenfeld: All right, give it to me. Carl...
Doorknob: D'ooooh! Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon... Doorknob: Whew. Quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn. Alice: You see, I was following... Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn? Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do ...
Charlie: I pulled off early today. Took your advice, went to a doctor about this ear. He says 'You have an ear infection, ten dollars please'. So I says 'I told you I had an ear infection, you give me ten dollars!' Well that started an argument.
Ray: So Harry Waters wants me dead. What a wanker. Ken: He said this whole trip, this whole being in Bruges thing, was just to give you one last, joyful memory before you died. Ray: [Absolutely stunned] In BRUGES? The Bahamas, maybe. Why fucking Brug...
Thomas Leroy: Thank you, Nina! It's very nice. It's very nice, but I knew the white swan wouldn't be your problem. The real work would be your metamorphosis into her evil twin. I know I saw a flash of her yesterday, so get ready to give me more of th...
