Mark: A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe." [Jim doesn't res...
Does the giraffe know what he's for? Or care? Or even think about his place in things? A giraffe has a black tongue twenty-seven inches long and no vocal cords. A giraffe has nothing to say. He just goes on giraffing.
I'm a giraffe. I even walk like a giraffe with a long neck and legs. It's a pretty dumb animal, mind you.
I have a toy giraffe on my bed. I've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. I am totally hooked.
God gave the giraffe a long neck so that He would not have to bend the palm tree.
My dad was always snoozing on the couch, like Dagwood Bumstead. He was a lazy motherfucker. God bless him. He was always working on some kind of get-rich-quick scheme. This is what my dad was like: I'd say, Hey, Dad, we studied penguins today in scho...
Proximo: Those giraffes you sold me, they won't mate. They just walk around, eating, and not mating. You sold me... queer giraffes. I want my money back.
In the giraffe with a total height of 5 m., the heart is at a height of about 2.5 m., and it would be extremely interesting to know just how the giraffe avoids the development of filtration oedema in its long legs.
The Mole: If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe. Stan: What's a dying giraffe sound like? The Mole: WUUUUUaahhh! WUUUaaaaaaahhhhh!
Only a friend or a giraffe would stick his neck out for you. But only a giraffe would eat all the leaves off your tree so he could peek in your second story bedroom window.
You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.
It’s not easy to be God.
I was once kissed on the lips by a giraffe, and I don't think I've ever got over it.
Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.
My favourite animal is the koala, but his life would be boring. I would rather be a giraffe so that I could contemplate the beauty of Africa.
Miss Forcible: [reading tea leaves] Well, not to worry, child: It's good news. There's a tall, handsome beast in your future. Coraline Jones: A what? Miss Spink: Miriam, really, you're holding it wrong. See? Danger! Coraline Jones: What do you see? M...
It's an incredibly difficult thing to bring a giraffe down. They can kill a lion with a single blow from their feet.
Giraffes are completely tranquil - they have no predators as adults because there's not an animal in the jungle stupid enough to go for them.
I like snakes. I like hummingbirds. There's nothing on earth I don't like. Frogs. Salamanders. The bunnies, the giraffes, the hippopotamuses.
There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.
My childhood was really comfortable and secure, but school was a nightmare. I was a lot taller than the other girls and they called me Gitte the giraffe.
