Can I get a lock for my tent? Bears can't unzip tents, Lana. Well, chainsaw psychos who wander the woods looking for young girls all alone to chop up into pieces can. There are no chainsaw psychos! I can't believe you've never been camping. It's safe...
If every Christian family in the United States would simply commit to pray and ask God if HE wants to use them to bless a child without a family, well, we'd change the world. If we can get the church to think about adoption not in terms of the desire...
But Lunch Isn't That Bad, Really Once I get used to having to eat with two people instead of one. Two people who have known each other for such a long time that they practically speak in code. Two people who are always saying, "Remember the time when...
Do not mock my baby." He pulls away and strokes his palm over he seat. "She was my first love." "Well your current ... er ... girl, is getting jealous with all the attention you're paying your first love, and she has orifices you can stick things in ...
I don’t trust compliments. I’ve been getting them for years. Sometimes I deserve them, sometimes I didn’t. But generally when people give you compliments there’s one of two things wrong with them. Either they’re false, or what’s worse is ...
I think it simply comes down to fantasy being the language I speak. While I cannot get into epic sword and sorcery, I see the world as having the potential to be slightly off-kilter. I have run into people who do not quite seem human – though of co...
Well Abby, it’s not as simple as that. I hate to see you sad sweetheart, but it’s not that bad of a deal just having mommy is it? Are you not happy with me?” I hoped that this would throw her off her the questioning for a little while. It’s n...
There is a LOT of bad news every day. The world seems to be getting more and more crazy. So every time you see some bad news, go do something nice for someone or go create something. Write a poem or a song, draw or paint a picture, do something nice ...
The Friend of Your Youth is the only friend you will ever have, for he hasn’t the slightest concern with calculating his interest or your virtue. He doesn’t give a damn, for the moment, about Getting Ahead or Needs Must Admiring the Best, the two...
If, as a culture, we don’t bear witness to grief, the burden of loss is placed entirely upon the bereaved, while the rest of us avert our eyes and wait for those in mourning to stop being sad, to let go, to move on, to cheer up. And if they don’t...
What I still don’t get though,” ventured John. “Is why you did it?” “Did what?” “Put that dress on in the first place.” “I don’t know really,” said Dennis, a puzzled look crossing his face. “I suppose it’s because it was fun...
One response was given by the innkeeper when Mary and Joseph wanted to find a room where the Child could be born. The innkeeper was not hostile; he was not opposed to them, but his inn was crowded; his hands were full; his mind was preoccupied. This�...
I come home from work this evening there was a note in the frying pan said Fix Your Own Supper Babe I Run Off With The Fuller Brush Man Well I sat down at the table screamed & hollered & cried I commenced to carring on 'till I almost lost my mind and...
It's unwise to pay too much, but it's worse to pay too little. When you pay too much, you lose a little money - that's all. When you pay too little, you sometimes lose everything, because the thing you bought was incapable of doing the thing it was b...
Lennie Pike: This is stupid. You call me a "stupid idiot?" Well, let me tell you something. You're a "stupid idiot!" Mrs. Marcus: But he'll go all the way to Plaster City. Lennie Pike: So he goes all the way to Plaster City. I don't know about you, b...
Baloo: [singing] Now when you pick a pawpaw / Or a prickly pear/ And you prick a raw paw / Well, next time beware / Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw / When you pick a pear try to use the claw / But you don't need to use the claw / When you pick...
Dwight Dickham: You're a shined up wooden nickel, Mr Palmer. A bully with a bag of tricks. But unlike you, I have one simple belief. That the law is the only thing that's capable of making people equal. Now you may think that Mark Blackwell is white ...
Jezebel: Well, personally, I never went for church names. [Jacob laughs] Jezebel: What? Jacob Singer: Where do you think Jezebel came from? Jezebel: No one calls me that. Jacob Singer: You're such a heathen, Jezzie. How'd I ever get involved with suc...
Max: You're full of shit. Vincent: I'm full of shit? You're a monument of it. You even bullshitted yourself, all I am is taking out the garbage, killing bad people. Max: Yeah, well that's what you said. Vincent: You believed me? Max: Then what'd they...
Robber D: [Spike pulls a gun after being warned to drop the weapon, waving a gun in an old lady's face] Don't you get it? I'm gonna SPLATTER GRANDMA! Spike: Well, that's a real shame. But, we're not cops and we're not from some charity organization. ...
[first lines] Passerby: Well, I want to go over to my place and start, you know, getting it on... Ann: Oh, that's terrible. Mark: Yeah. Do you ever, uh... ballet? Ann: Be thankful. Do you have a quarter for them? Mark: Yes, I do. Ann: [gives it to st...
