Columbus: Hey, for fuck's sake, enough already! We are being chased by ravenous freaks. Like we don't have enough problems. Oh, they stole my hummer. Oh, we have trust issues. Well get over it! We can't just fucking drive down the road playing I Spy ...
Burt Shotton: When I took the Cleveland uniform off two years ago I promised the missus I'd never put on another uniform again. So the roses are beautiful and, uh, I sleep better too. Branch Rickey: Roses and sleep are two wonderful things, Burt. But...
Ken Mattingly: Uh, one more thing, Jim. While Jack is working on the power-up, we'd like you and Freddo to transfer some ballast over to the command module. Jim Lovell: Say again, Houston? Ballast? Ken Mattingly: That's affirm. We want to get the wei...
Charlie Kaufman: We open on Charlie Kaufman. Fat, old, bald, repulsive, sitting in a Hollywood restaurant, across from Valerie Thomas, a lovely, statuesque film executive. Kaufman, trying to get a writing assignment, wanting to impress her, sweats pr...
Felicia: [in sweet voice] Mummy, maybe a trip to the outback will help me get over this little... phase I'm going through. And you never know, I might meet some lovely country girl. [in tough voice] Felicia: I hereby christen this budget Barbie campe...
Addison DeWitt: And what's your name? Phoebe: Phoebe. Addison DeWitt: Phoebe? Phoebe: I call myself Phoebe. Addison DeWitt: And why not? Tell me, Phoebe, do you want someday to have an award like that of your own? Phoebe: More than anything else in t...
Debbie Dunham: Is that tuck and roll? Terry Fields: Yeah! Debbie Dunham: That's bitchin' tuck and roll! You know, I really love the feel of tuck and roll upholstery. Terry Fields: You do? Debbie Dunham: Yeah. Terry Fields: Yeah? Well, get in and I'll...
Terry Fields: Pardon me, sir, but I lost my I.D. in... in a flood and I'd like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me? Bum at Liquor Store: Why certainly! I lost my wife, too - her name wasn't Idy, though, and it wa...
Debbie Dunham: I can't see what he's doing. Darn it, I wish I could see. Terry Fields: I can't see anything. I don't wanna see anything. [Debbie walks away] Terry Fields: Just keep him away from me, that's all I want. How do I get into these things? ...
Alvy Singer: Hey listen, gimme a kiss. Annie Hall: Really? Alvy Singer: Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right mov...
[Paul has no money for a subway token] Paul Hackett: Couldn't you just give me one token, please? Subway Attendant: I can't do that. I may lose my job. [Paul looks around and sees no one else in the station] Paul Hackett: Well, who would know... exac...
Otter: Let me give you a hint. She's got a couple of major-league yabbos. Boon: Beverly! Otter: No. But you're getting warmer. Here's another: "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!" Boon: Marlene! Don't tell me you're gonna pork Marlene Desmond! Otter: Pork? Boon...
Genie: [as he is being released] You know, Al, I'm getting really... [notices Jafar] Genie: I don't think you're him. Genie: [reading a script] Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man. Jafar: I am your master now! ...
Judge Weaver: For the benefit of the jury, but more especially for the spectators, The garment mentioned in the testimony was, to be exact, Mrs. Manion's panties. [spectators roar with laughter] Judge Weaver: I wanted to get your snickering over and ...
General Corman: Well, you see, Willard, in this war, things get confused out there. Power, ideals, the old morality, and practical military necessity. But out there with these natives, it must be a temptation to be God. Because there's a conflict in ...
Tony Mendez: We've got an office, we've got business cards, we've got a poster. If I'm the Revolutionary Guard, that's nothing we couldn't have made at home. Six people's lives depend on this. It's not enough. If we're gonna fool these people, it has...
Cyrus Vance: What's wrong with bikes, again? Jack O'Donnell: We tried to get the message upstairs, sir. C.I.A Director Stansfield Turner: You think this is more plausible than teachers? Jack O'Donnell: Yes, we do. One, there are no more foreign teach...
Toby Radloff: How long are you going to be in Delaware? Because I'd really like to see this movie with you. Harvey Pekar: I don't know. I'll be gone about a week. But I'm getting married, so I'll have to bring her along too. Is it a girl flick? Toby ...
Dad: I'd only give one piece of advice to anyone marrying. We're all quite similar in the end. We all get old and tell the same tales too many times. But try and marry someone kind. And this is a kind man with a good heart. Dad: I'm not particularly ...
Natasha Romanoff: You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor? Bruce Banner: [chuckles] I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed. Natasha Romanoff: Loki is manipulating you. Bruce Banner: And you been doing what, exact...
Trudy Chacon: What's goin' on, brother? Long time, no see. Lock Up Trooper: Hey. Trudy Chacon: Personally, I don't feel these tree huggin' traitors deserve steak. Lock Up Trooper: They get steak? That's bullshit. Let me see that. [Trudy laughs and th...