Marwood: [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] Give me a downer, Danny. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! Danny: Change down, man. Find your neutral space. You got a rush. It'll pass. Be seated. Marwood: Aren't you getting absurdly hig...
Alex Jones: Resistance is not futile, we're gonna win this thing, humankind is too good, we're not a bunch of under-achievers! We're gonna stand up, and we're gonna be human beings. We're going to get fired up about the real things, the things that m...
Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard... Tin Woodsman: [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard... Scarecrow: [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard... Dorothy: [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve. Scarecrow: [singing] Then I'm ...
Christine Vole: It isn't even my letter paper! I write my letters on small, blue paper with my initials on it? Sir Wilfrid: Like these? [pulling out a sheaf of letters on blue paper] Christine Vole: Damn you! Damn you! Let me go! Let me get out of he...
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: What can I get for you, good-lookin'? Touchdown Man at Deli Counter: Half pound of egg salad. Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: HALF POUND OF EGG SALAD, COMIN' UP! Touchdown Man at Deli Counter: Is it fresh? Randy 'The Ram' Robinson...
Cochise: [on subway, after escaping Turnbull ACs] Yeah, well we made it, and in a hour, it is C-I! The BIG Coney! Ajax: You got it. Gimme that fist, buddy! [high fives Cochise] Cochise: Yeah! WHEEE! Swan: When we get there, that's when we made it. Co...
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no. Where's Roger? Eddie Valiant: Roger?. He chickened out on me back at the studio. Jessica Rabbit: No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk... so he wouldn't get hurt. Eddie Valiant: Makes p...
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no! Where's Roger? Eddie Valiant: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio. Jessica Rabbit: No, he didn't. I hit him over the head with a frying pan and stuck him in the trunk. So he wouldn't get hurt. Eddie Valiant: Makes...
Igor: You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say? Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of ...
I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a...
Gardeners may create order briefly out of chaos, but nature always gets the last word, and what it says is usually untidy by human standards. But I find all states of nature beautiful, and because I want to delight in my garden, not rule it, I just a...
I hate first drafts, and it never gets easier. People always wonder what kind of superhero power they'd like to have. I wanted the ability for someone to just open up my brain and take out the entire first draft and lay it down in front of me so I ca...
I know where my game is. I know I'm a power hitter and an RBI guy. I need to get on base for my teammates behind me and just stick with my game. I don't try to do too much. Sometimes when you try to do too much in this game you pretty much can't do a...
I believe the better I can write on my own, the better I can be of service in a co-write. The big thing with a co-write is trust, and it's not so much what you get the first time you sit down with that writer. It's the relationship that you build tha...
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. Y...
I'm one of those sad cases who've never wanted to be anything but a writer. I started writing my first novel when I was five years old. I have no idea what it was about, but I do remember spending considerable time trying to get the title right, thou...
I am convinced that, despite what you think of Obama, I don't think Obama has a person-to-person connection with people. I think people love him because of his race and feel sorry for him, object of sympathy. I think people feel he's a victim, he por...
I'm not a gadget freak, so to say. I own an iPhone, which I love, and would sorely love to upgrade to MacBook Air from my current MacBook Pro. But what gets me going is the technology behind the gadgets, new websites, new apps. And I'm way too much i...
I worry a lot about what people think. I worry people think I'm not helping them enough, that they don't like my music, that I'm playing a song too fast or talking too fast. I worry my wife isn't happy with our relationship... I'm afraid somebody's g...
I had no idea how difficult Sondheim's music would be. All through the rehearsals, I kept flubbing. There were so many tempo changes. I could never get through the opening number without any mistakes. One day, I went up to Hal Prince and offered to l...
For me, music is sort of my passion, more so than being an actor. I just never tried to make a career as a musician. It was just something that I did on my own time, just for me. I had written a lot of songs, but I don't really record a lot of music ...
