Staff Sergeant William James: I want my five bucks back, buddy. Beckham: Five dollars for what, man? You crazy now? Staff Sergeant William James: Yeah. The DVD you sold me was crap. Beckham: You crazy, man. That's impossible. It's Hollywood special e...
Stu Price: [playing piano and singing passionately] What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you ...
Miss Kelly: Well what shall I say to Mr. Dowd? What do I do? He'll probably be so furious he'll refuse to come down here. Dr. Sanderson: Look, Miss Kelly. He's probably fit to be tied, but he's a man, isn't he? Miss Kelly: I guess so. His name's *Mis...
Alien Child: I hate women. All they do is cry all the time. Theodore: That's not true. You know men cry too. I actually like crying sometimes. It feels good. Alien Child: I didn't know you were a little pussy. Is that why you don't have a girlfriend?...
Theodore: Well, the room's spinning cause I drank too much, cause I wanted to get drunk and have sex. There was something sexy about that woman... cause I was lonely... maybe just cause I was lonely. I wanted somebody to fuck me. I want somebody to w...
[after catching Harry scribbling on his paper] Professor Severus Snape: Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? [Harry doesn't answer] Professor Severus Snape: You don't know? Well, let's try again. ...
Nick: Hey look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer? George Bailey: [interven...
Man at Bar: Why do you drink so much? Please go home, Mr. Bailey. Mr. Welch: [sitting right beside George] Bailey? Which Bailey? Giuseppe Martini: This is Mr. George Bailey. [Mr. Welch angrily pulls George Bailey up to his face by the lapels with one...
Ip Man: [hits Lei] Traitor! Captain Lei Chiu: Why am I a traitor? Their deaths have got nothing to do with me. I'm just an interpreter. I need to scrape a living too! Ip Man: Scrape a living? You watch your countrymen get beaten to death. Where's you...
Christine Everheart: [at the Firefighter's Family Fund Benefit] Well, Tony Stark! Tony Stark: [awkwardly] Oh, hey. Christine Everheart: Fancy seeing you here. Tony Stark: [tries to remember] Carrie. Christine Everheart: Christine. Tony Stark: That's ...
Ellie Andrews: Your ego is absolutely colossal. Peter Warne: Yeah, yeah, not bad, how's yours? [Shuts and locks the door] Ellie Andrews: You know, compared to you, my friend Shapeley's an amateur. Just whatever gave you any idea I'd stand for this? P...
Mr. Incredible: I was wrong to treat you that way. I'm sorry... Syndrome: See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are lots of people, whole countries, that want respect, and will pay through the nose to...
[Bob is explaining an insurance policy loophole to a Mrs. Hogenson] Bob: [whispering] Listen closely. I'd like to help you but I can't. I'd like to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on... Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X... on the third...
[Bob and Lucius are rescuing people from a burning building] Bob: Can't you put this out? Lucius: I can't lay down a layer thick enough. It's evaporating too fast! Bob: What's that mean? Lucius: It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob! Bob: You're...
Harry: Yeah, boo, hiss, I know. Look, I hate it too. In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending so the guy shows up, he's magically alive on crutches, I hate that. I mean shit, why not bring them all back. [Everyone who has be...
Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: What? I was getting ready for my blind date. Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Blind date? Lajjo Kapur's Sister: Oh, a date with a blind boy. Lajjo Kapur's Sister: No wonder she has blindfolded herself. Jasprit "Sweetu" Kapoor: Blind dat...
[testifying] Mayella Ewell: I was sittin' on the porch, and he come along. Uh, there's this old chifforobe in the yard, and I-I said, 'You come in here, boy, and bust up this chifforobe, and I'll give you a nickel.' So he-he come on in the yard and I...
Jamie: I'm so late. Jamie's Girlfriend: It's just 'round the corner, you'll make it. Jamie: Are you sure you don't mind me going without you? Jamie's Girlfriend: No, really, I'm just feeling so rotten. Jamie: I love you. Jamie's Girlfriend: I know. J...
"Hatchet" Harry: Yeah? That you, boy? Eddie: It's Ed, if that's you mean. "Hatchet" Harry: Pay day, ain't it? Eddie: Yeah... I wanted to talk to you about that. "Hatchet" Harry: I'll bet you do. I got half a million nicker sitting here, which means s...
[White catches a parolee beating his wife] Wife Beater: Who in the hell are you? Bud White: The ghost of Christmas past. Why don't you dance with a man for a change? Wife Beater: What are you, some kind of smart ass? [tries to attack Bud] Bud White: ...
Umpire: No ball! Capt. Russell: [as he and Yardley, slightly incredulous, go over to the umpire] What? Umpire: No ball! Yardley: You're kidding me... Capt. Russell: "No ball"? What do you mean, "no ball"? Umpire: His foot was over the line. Capt. Rus...
