I like to tell kids that I started thinking about stories when I first started reading stuff like Dr. Seuss and 'Go, Dog. Go!,' thinking, 'Oh yeah, that's funny. I'd like to do that.' And then writing throughout school, but at the same time I was stu...
I remember my fourth grade teacher reading 'Charlotte's Web' and 'Stuart Little' to us - both, of course, by E. B. White. His stories were genuinely funny, thought provoking and full of irony and charm. He didn't condescend to his readers, which was ...
I never understand when people say, 'Do you do comedy or tragedy?' I don't think they're very much different. They both have to be true, and there isn't a great play in the world that doesn't have funny parts to it - as 'Salesman' does, as 'King Lear...
I've never really focused on if I had good habits when I sang or if I had bad habits, or if I was breathing correctly. So, I started doing vocal exercises and would stretch out before I sang, stuff to help my breathing. It's funny, you breathe your w...
I love doing comedy. I find comedy quite hard work. Comedy's underrated, I think, by actors, you know? It's difficult to get it right and get it funny. I really enjoy doing it. I kind of wish I'd done it more. I can't complain. I've had a fair crack ...
Since the 1980s, I've been known more for my TV work, I used to host 'Live at Jongleurs' and of course 'Grumpy Old Men,' and so it's really all come from there. It's been a funny career really, there are people that know me now as a TV person, a come...
Thomas, my 15-year-old, is effectively my editor, I've always trusted his voice, more than anybody, on the strip for years. He has one of those ears that's just tuned to the rhythm of humor, so if he says something's not funny, my stomach just hurts ...
Margo: Oh, uh, can we get stuffed crust? Edith, Agnes, Jerry the Minion, Stuart the Minion: OOOOHHHH, stuffed crust. Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! [Agnes giggles] Agnes: You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again!
Marlin: There was this mollusk, and he walks up to this sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber... [sees the mask] Marlin: Nemo! Chum: [laughing] Nemo! Ha ha! Nemo....
Dr. Robin Hatcher: [showing CCTV footage of the estate explosion] Interesting - we only seem to get a glimpse of the outer-most edge of the explosion. But we did happen to catch a glimpse of Sandford's most wanted! [shows the swan, everyone claps] Ni...
Willie: Aren't you gonna introduce us? Lao Che: This is Willie Scott; this is Indiana Jones, a famous archaeologist. Willie: Well I always thought that archaeologists were always funny looking men going around looking for their mommies. Indiana Jones...
Mr. Dryden: Lawrence, only two kinds of creature get fun in the desert: Bedouins and gods, and you're neither. Take it from me, for ordinary men, it's a burning, fiery furnace. T.E. Lawrence: No, Dryden, it's going to be fun. Mr. Dryden: It is recogn...
Mike: She's the one. I'm telling ya, she is the one. Sulley: I'm happy for you. Mike: Oh, by the way, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations. Sulley: No problem. They're under the name Googlie-Bear. Mike: Thanks, I... you know, that isn't v...
Isaac Davis: This is so antiseptic. It's empty. Why do you think this is funny? You're going by audience reaction? This is an audience that's raised on television, their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in fro...
Billy Beane: Where you from, Pete? Peter Brand: Maryland. Billy Beane: Where'd you go to school? Peter Brand: Yale. I went to Yale. Billy Beane: What'd you study? Peter Brand: Economics. I studied economics. Billy Beane: Yale, economics, and baseball...
Martin Sixsmith: Its funny isn't it? All the pieces of paper designed to help you find him have been destroyed, but guess what, the one piece of paper designed to stop you finding him has been lovingly preserved. God and his infinite wisdom decided t...
[Raymond is reciting Abbott and Costello's Who's on First Base skit] Charlie: Ray, you're never gonna solve it. It's not a riddle because Who *is* on first base. That's a joke, Ray, it's comedy, but when you do it you're not funny. You're like the co...
[Andy and his mom stop at the gas station] Andy: Can I help you fill up? Andy's Mom: Sure, I'll even let you drive. Andy: Really? Andy's Mom: Yeah, when you're 16. Andy: Yup, yup. Very funny, Mom.
Gordon Deitrich: I am V. At last you know the truth. You're stunned, I know. It's hard to believe, isn't it, that beneath this wrinkled, well-fed exterior there lies a dangerous killing machine with a fetish for Fawkesian masks. ¡Viva la revolución...
Carol: [after being hit with a water balloon] Very funny. What a chop! Ha-ha! Quit laughing! Let's catch 'em at the light. Jump out and flatten their tires. John Milner: Wait a minute. Carol: Just do as I say! John Milner: Alright, boss.
its funny when I'm cyber bullied(anonymously) because when people do it to me,I don't think of how much I want to hurt them or punch them in the face like my friends do...but I go on this site and write a quote to them back, hoping to kill them with ...
