Detective Wuertz: Listen, Dent, I swear to God I didn't know what they were gonna do to you. Two-Face: That's funny... [pulls out coin] Two-Face: 'Cause I don't know what's gonna happen to you either.
Henry Barthes: Y'know it's funny, I spend a lot of time trying to not have to deal... to not really commit. I'm a substitute teacher, there's no real responsibility to teach. Your responsibility is to maintain order, make sure nobody kills anybody in...
Litmus: What's your name kid? Charley Butts: Charley Butts. Litmus: Charley's Butt? Hahahah, you got a pretty friggin' funny name kid. Charley Butts: Oh yeah? What's yours? Litmus: Al Capone.
Forrest Gump: Lieutenant Dan was always getting these funny feelings about a rock or a trail or the road, so he'd tell us to get down, shut up. Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Get down! Shut up! Forrest Gump: So we did.
Wray: So what are you going to do now? Cherry: I'm going to be a stand-up comedian. Wray: You're not funny Cherry: That's what I keep trying to tell everybody but they all say I'm hilarious Wray: But you're not Cherry: There's a difference between be...
Laurie: [in the Wallace house, and noises are coming from upstairs] All right you meatheads, joke's over. [silence] Laurie: Come on, Annie. That's enough. [more silence] Laurie: It's most definitely stopped being funny, now cut it out! You'll be sorr...
Christian: [singing] The courtesan and sitar man are pulled apart by an evil plan... Satine: [singing] but in the end she hears his song... Christian: [singing] and their love is just too strong. The Duke: [singing] It's a little bit funny, this feel...
Caine: Went into the store just to get a beer. Came out an accessory to murder and armed robbery. It's funny like that in the hood sometimes. You never knew what was gonna happen, or when. After that I knew it was gonna be a long summer.
Frank: You've made a big mistake, Morton. When you're not on that train, you look like a turtle out of its shell. Just funny. Poor cripple talking big so nobody'll know how scared you are.
Petey Jones: Hey, hey, Lastik man what happened to you? Louie Lastik: [holding back, in fake pain] Man I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do! Petey Jones: That ain't funny!
Colter Stevens: You seem concerned about the time. What are you late for? Max Denoff: I'm on my way to an asshole festival. I hear you're headlining. Colter Stevens: Oh, that's funny. What are you, a comedian? Christina Warren: Yeah. He is a comedian...
Johnny Cash: It's funny, you know, because I haven't talked about Jack in a long time. After he passed I talked about him all the time. But I guess people grew tired of it... so I just stopped.
President McKenna: What do you need, William? William Stryker: Just your authorization for a special operation. President McKenna: And somehow I thought you were here to talk about school reform. William Stryker: Funny you should say that, Mr. Presid...
Derek Vinyard: Every night, thousands of these parasites stream across the border like some fuckin' piñata exploded. [the skinheads laugh] Derek Vinyard: Don't laugh! There's nothin' funny goin' on here! [the skinheads immediately quiet down]
In this funny debut, flashy Filipino fashion designer Boy Hernandez sees his American dream become a nightmare when he’s ensnared in a terrorist plot and shipped to Guantanamo. Gilvarry nails the couture scene, but Boy’s rough journey from Manolo...
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel...
There were icons of the Magdalen on the walls and paintings in the Western manner, all kitsch, trash. Mary M., Lucas thought, half hypnotized by the chanting in the room beside him; Mary Moe, Jane Doe, the girl from Migdal in Galilee turned hooker in...
Orpheus never liked words. He had his music. He would get a funny look on his face and I would say what are you thinking about and he would always be thinking about music. If we were in a restaurant sometimes Orpheus would look sullen and wouldn't ta...
Do you need help with anything?" he asked with a wicked arched brow. "Maybe with cookies for Santa." Scowling because no one was here but us, I said, "You're a bit late for that. Santa already came." He hadn't moved, but I knew better than to think h...
Oh, Mr. Cuthbert," she whispered, that place we came through--that white place--what was it?" "Well now, you must mean the Avenue," said Matthew after a few moments' profound reflection. "It is a kind of pretty place." "Pretty? Oh, PRETTY doesn't see...
We can't lose you," she said after a few moments of awkward as hell silence. "You have to understand that we aren't doing this because we don't care about Kat. We're doing this because we love you." "But I love her," I said without hesitation. Dee's ...
