All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
Any good humor is sophomoric. 'Sophomoric' is the liberal word for funny.
For me, I've worked hard for people to think I'm funny.
Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it.
It's so funny whenever things come full circle.
Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.
They'll say, That's funny, but you can't do that on TV.
Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.
Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
Possibly I've become less funny as I've been happier.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
I love working with smart-funny people.
Admit to yourself women are equal. In fact go ahead and say it. They're superior. Nuff said.
Guys, you should always fight the urge to put your mouth in gear before taking your brain out of park.
I went from being a kid-kid, listen to everything from The Beatles through Kiss, Peter Frampton, Jethro Tull classic rock, classic stuff into immediately, it seemed like, Iron Maiden and stuff like that. The first Iron Maiden record and then, obvious...
We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'
The sort of lifetime achievement stuff that I'm getting now is kind of like Tom Sawyer's funeral because they all know I'm sick. I am getting buildings named after me and awards and stuff.
There is people who make stuff with words. There is people who make stuff with programs. And I really believe that that whole creative culture, people didn't realize how creative programming is. And anybody who's done it of course knows that not only...
I think Coran Capshaw is such a brilliant entrepreneur and he always thinks about new stuff; the biggest stuff you can imagine. I know he's working on a lot of things for me at the moment, and I think it will definitely help my career to go to the ne...
I like being married to someone who does what I do, and we can talk for hours about all of this stuff that I struggle with and all this stuff that he struggles with because we're struggling with the same things. If I was married to a banker, I don't ...
If you'd rather live surrounded by pristine objects than by the traces of happy memories, stay focused on tangible things. Otherwise, stop fixating on stuff you can touch and start caring about stuff that touches you.
