As a woman, I know you're young but you gotta hear it now,the most valuable part about you is your brain. Get an education,don't let anybody tell you that your body or the size that you wear or any of that bullshit matters because it doesn't. Your br...
Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have...
I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few fr...
I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addiction, the funny short subjects, the half-finished ro...
One might also say that history is not about the past. If you think about it, no one ever lived in the past. Washington, Jefferson, John Adams, and their contemporaries didn't walk about saying, "Isn't this fascinating living in the past! Aren't we p...
It’s funny. When you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, ‘I want to go home.’ But then you come home, and of course it’s not the same. You can’t live with it, you can’t live away from it. And it seems like from then o...
Before I had kids, I always found it funny how people would talk about their children like they were the cutest things on the planet and how every little thing they did was endlessly fascinating. Now that I've had kids, I can say with certainty that,...
Third Cab Driver: They're up to something funny, you hear what I'm telling you? Now, did you see the blonde I brought? All covered with paint and her dressed ripped. Now what was that all about? Second cab driver: Yeah. And what about the picks and s...
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Jolly nasty accident there. Jolly lucky nobody was hurt. Mrs. Marcus: Where did you get that funny accent? Are you from Harvard or something? J. Algernon Hawthorne: Harvard? Rather not. I'm English. Mrs. Marcus: Sounds so forei...
Forrest Gump: You know it's funny what a young man recollects? 'Cause I don't remember bein' born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic. But I do remember the first time I heard the ...
Marlin: Dory there's no way out! [Bruce bangs on the door] Dory: Hello? Marlin: Dory, help me find a way out! Dory: Sorry, can't help you, trying to escape! Marlin: Dory, what are we going to do? Dory: Hey look here, "es-ca-pe!" Its funny, it's spell...
[last lines] Ninny Threadgoode: [voiceover] After Ruth died and the railroad stopped runnin', the cafe shut down and everybody just scattered to the winds. It was never more'n just a little knockabout place, but now that I look back on it, when that ...
Dr. Cohen: You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. Uh, I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half. For example. Andr...
Stu Price: [about the cops after releasing them early] Fuck those guys! You hear me? That was bullshit! I'm tellin' everybody we stole a cop car! You can't just do that! You can't just tease people because you think it's funny! That's police brutalit...
[Dith Pran is forced to leave the French Embassy] Morgan: For chrissakes, Sydney, why didn't you get him out then you had the chance? You had no right to keep him here! Funny sense of priorities. Dith Pran: I'm a reporter too, Morgan! I know his hear...
[to the Turkish court] Billy Hayes: For a nation of pigs, it sures is funny you don't eat'em! Jesus Christ forgave the bastards, but I can't! I hate! I hate you! I hate your nation! And I hate your people! And I fuck your sons and daughters because t...
Stanley Spector: This isn't funny. This isn't cute. See the way we're looked at? Because I'm not a toy. I'm not a doll. The way we're looked at because you think we're cute? Because, what? I'm made to feel like a freak if I answer questions? Or I'm s...
Dr. Iris Hineman: It's funny how all living organisms are alike... [she starts crushing a mutated plant] Dr. Iris Hineman: ...when the chips are down, when the pressure is on, every creature on the face of the Earth is interested in one thing and one...
Mona Lisa Vito: [Vinny looks at her funny] What? Vinny Gambini: Nothing. You stick out like a sore thumb around here. Mona Lisa Vito: Me? What about you? Vinny Gambini: I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots. Mona Lisa Vito: Oh y...
Maxim de Winter: I can't forget what it's done to you. I've been thinking of nothing else since it happened. It's gone forever, that funny young, lost look I loved won't ever come back. I killed that when I told you about Rebecca. It's gone. In a few...
Charlie Fineman: Are you a faggot?. Alan Johnson: Don't say faggot, you just don't call people faggot that's rude. Charlie Fineman: To a gay guy it is, to you it's just a funny word like poundcake or pickle... You really need some Mel. Charlie Finema...
