Quotes of: Funny-person Keyword

I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

I don't-" I shake my head. (...) "What? What were you going to say?" This is another trick of shrinks. They never let you stop in midthought. If you open your mouth, they want to know exactly what you had the intention of saying.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

It's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. ... you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

You want to play video games twenty-four hours a day?" "Or watch. I just want to not be me. Whether it's sleeping or playing video games or riding my bike or studying. Giving my brain up. That's what's important.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

You all right, man?' This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man. Ah...' I stumble. Don't bug Craig,' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

We look into each other's eyes as we shake. His are still full of death and horror, but in them I see my face reflected, and inside my tiny eyes inside his, I think I see some hope.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

This is so funny,” said Ellen, noticing the seating arrangement. “Isn’t this funny? Tom, come sit next to Robin. Griffin, sit next to Laura.” I stood up and sat next to Robin while Griffin brought his chair over to Laura. “That’s better,�...

Minor Snobs

If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream.

The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.

The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brillia...

Andy Cohen

I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-off if someone's trying hard to be funny because it feels like they're auditioning for a comedy job or something. It doesn't feel romantic to me. I get so m...

Chelsea Peretti

Jungle Julia: But maybe a little later in the evening, you've had a few drinks, you're kind of losey gosey, you're safe with your girls. Then some kinda cute, kinda hot, kinda sexy, hysterically funny but not funny looking guy comes over and says it ...

Grindhouse

I had a very funny family.

Zach Braff

My primary responsibility is to be funny.

Al Madrigal

Everybody's funny if you love them.

Anna Torv

Women have been funny for years.

Beth Behrs

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

Bernie Mac

I never get to be funny on T.V.

Diane Neal

My grandchildren are fabulous and funny.

Erica Jong

Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.

Hannah Simone

I'm just not very funny.

Ira Glass