Daigo Kobayashi: What does the job involve? Ikuei Sasaki: Well... At first, being my assistant, I guess. Daigo Kobayashi: Specifically... Ikuei Sasaki: Specifically? Casketing. Daigo Kobayashi: Casketing? Ikuei Sasaki: Putting bodies in coffins. It b...
Andrew Largeman: What could be ruder than talking about someone else who died when you're in the act of burying a close friend? Sam: Well, what should we do? Andrew Largeman: I don't know. I've only been to one of these things. You appear to be the e...
Ron Weasley: [about Ginny and Dean] What do you think he sees in her? Harry Potter: She's smart... funny... attractive... Ron Weasley: Attractive? Harry Potter: Well you know... she has nice... skin. Ron Weasley: So you think he is going out with her...
[person speaking German on "cliteris" website] Kyle: Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on! Stan: Whoa! Is it Cartman's mom? Cartman: Oh, very funny! Kyle: Hey! It IS Cartman's mom! Mrs. Cartman: [man speaking German on computer] All righty then! Cartma...
Alpha: [On a communicator on Beta's collar] This is Alpha calling Dug. Come in, Dug. Dug: Hi Alpha. Hey, your voice sounds funny. Alpha: I know, I know! Have you seen the bird? Dug: Why, yes. The bird is my prisoner now. Gamma: Yeah, right! [Kevin hi...
Any story dealing, however seriously, with homosexual love is taken to be a story about homosexuality while stories dealing with heterosexual love are seen as stories about the individual people they portray. This is as much a problem today for Ameri...
Okay," she said as he lit the candle and hummed the birthday song. "You know,this is all very Jake Ryan of you." "Who's Jake Ryan?" "The hottie from Sixteen Candles—the best teenage movie ever made. The last scene looks just like this," she said, l...
Our lives are made up of choices. Big ones, small ones, strung together by the thin air of good intentions; a line of dominoes, ready to fall. Which shirt to wear on a cold winter's morning, what crappy junk food to eat for lunch. It starts out so in...
I'm just sorry. Sorry that there won't be any more camping trips for kids or rock bands or even new books to read. No more movies or fresh bags of popcorn. It really sucks when you think about it. Of course, there is the possibility that we might be ...
Alana Marks had always known she was different. From her gypsy childhood, to the way she now made her living in the movies, she'd always lived on the edge. She'd been paid to leap from a sixteenth story window, roll a car to a cliff edge, get thrown ...
Once more Jane sat staring at the telephone. This time she was filled with a confidence that was new to her. Stan Crandall. Stanley Crandall. He liked her! He had seen her once, and even though had been rumpled and grass-stained and having a terrible...
Man, do you ever feel it's just the hope of things we live for?' I asked. 'I mean, it's like the things themselves are just a big disappointment, you know? We like the searching, the dreaming. It's sort oflike the way previews for a movie are better ...
I didn’t write this piece to attract a potential mate, as the title might lead a reader to believe. That said, I like long walks on the beach, cuddling by the fire, and watching silent movies at full volume and then screaming into the phone when an...
Maybe, generations ago, young people rebelled out of some clear motive, but now, we know we’re rebelling. Between teen movies and sex-ed textbooks we’re so ready for our rebellious phase we can’t help but feel it’s safe, contained. It will tu...
I turned on the television and watched a movie about a girl who’d fallen in love with both a vampire and a werewolf. I’d already seen it a million times, so my eyelids grew heavy, fairly quickly. Ten minutes later I was out cold in my bed and dre...
There's a strange sensation - you recall it from childhood - about sleeping in the afternoon. You rise into a different world from the one in which you lay down. The shadows have been rearranged. There's a sensation of sad sweetness, as if something ...
Neurotic identity crises come when our defense mechanisms have been too successful and we're encapsulated in the fortress we have constructed with nothing to refresh us in our solitary confinement. So we play the old movies with their stale fears and...
Like a shot from a movie, the morning sun shone brilliantly around him like a god—his dark hair glinted warmly in the light, and his eyes gleamed bluer than the south Pacific Ocean. Taylor's mind went blank. And suddenly, she couldn't remember why ...
Craziness is only a matter of degree, and there are lots of people besides me who have the urge to roll heads. They go to stock-car races and the horror movies and the wrestling matches they have in Portland Expo. Maybe what she said smacked of all t...
I want there to be a place in the world where people can engage in one another’s differences in a way that is redemptive, full of hope and possibility. Not this “In order to love you, I must make you something else”. That’s what domination is...
Great men speak secrets about themselves with nods and gestures, walking away from jokes about women rather than condemn the jokester; if with a woman, the turning of their head during a nude scene in a movie speaking volumes about their character wi...
