[Helen hands the kids two masks] Elastigirl: Put these on. Your identity is your most valuable possession. Protect it. And if anything goes wrong, use your powers. Violet: But you said never to use... Elastigirl: [snaps at her] I know what I said! [s...
Bud White: Something's wrong with the Nite Owl. I know it in here, [points to his chest] Bud White: I know it. That prick Exley shot the wrong guys. Whoever killed my partner, is still out there. I... If I could work cases like a real detective, I co...
Guy Woodhouse: [on Rosemary's decision to switch doctors] You know what Dr. Hill is? He's a Charlie Nobody, that's who he is! Rosemary Woodhouse: I'm tired of hearing about how great Dr. Sapirstein is! Guy Woodhouse: Well, I won't let you do it Ro. R...
Billy Ray Valentine: [Billy Ray is in jail] I wish my bitches would get here. I ain't got time to be sitting in this cell with you. Even Bigger Black Guy: Where are your bitches, Mr. Big-Time Pimp? Big Black Guy: Yeah! Billy Ray Valentine: [to cellma...
Philip Marlowe: You the guy that's been tailing me? Harry Jones: Yeah, the name's Jones. Harry Jones. I want to see you. Philip Marlowe: Swell. Did you want to see those guys jump me? Harry Jones: I didn't care one way or the other. Philip Marlowe: Y...
...And Brick and I say in unison, “As long as I’m here.” This is a guy thing. You never want to acknowledge that you and another guy had exactly the same thought in exactly the same words and that you spoke them aloud . . .at exactly the same t...
teenagers are never joking. when seeking to prove a point, principals and teachers should remember that teenagers are never, ever sarcasic or ironic. if they say "I wish someone would drop a bomb on this school right now," that means they have arrang...
New Rule: Don't name your kid after a ballpark. Cubs fans Paul and Teri Fields have named their newborn son Wrigley. Wrigley Fields. A child is supposed to be an independent individual, not a means of touting your own personal hobbies. At least that'...
New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures of Britney Spears's vagina getting out of a car. Television has desensitizes us to violence, and porn has desensitize...
New Rule: If you're one of the one-in-three married women who say your pet is a better listener than your husband, you talk too much. And I have some bad news for you: Your dog's not listening, either; he's waiting for food to fall out of your mouth.
New Rule: The Napa Valley is Disneyland for alcoholics. Be honest, you're not visiting wineries in four days because you're an oenophile, you're doing it because you're a drunk. It's the only place in America where you can pass out in a stranger's ho...
New Rule: If we want to find a place to cut government waste, we must start with the DEA rubber duck. Yes, on the DEA's website you can buy a rubber ducky with a DEA badge and a cop's hat. Which I recommend doing, because they're a great place to hid...
Andrew Largeman: They sent me to boarding school because they thought I might be dangerous. [mocking Sam] Andrew Largeman: Oh, are you freaked out? You're like so freaked out. You're like running for the door. You can go, it's okay, don't feel bad. S...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice over] Okay, we open with Laroche. He's funny. Okay. He says, "I love to mutate plants". He says "Mutation is fun". Okay, we show flowers and... okay. We have to have the court case. Okay, we show Laroche. Okay, he says "I was ...
Fairy tales die hard in the minds and hearts of some girls. Quinn
Since governments take the right of death over their people, it is not astonishing if the people should sometimes take the right of death over governments." [ ]
The past attracts me, the present frightens me, because the future is death.
You guys are so... dark. Even if I used flash, I'm not sure it would come out." "Y-yeah," Percy managed. "You guys aren't photogenic.
A brick could be used as a substitute for my father. I hate to admit it, but I think a brick would make a better dad than that guy I call “The Guy That Never Calls Me.”
But it was great, we sit in the same dressing room where, like, Johnny Cash sat and Willie Nelson and all those guys. That was in itself something amazing - I was on the same space these guys stood on, ya know?
He wondered where the difference was between the good guys and the bad guys if their means were all just born out of perceived necessity and their goals by the unquestioned orders they had been given.
