John Ford was so funny that I couldn't wait to go to work in the morning.
The word 'Spanx' was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it.
People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.
It's a funny habit to write encyclopedia entries. It's not a mass taste.
It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man.
As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted.
Most of my ideas just come out funny.
It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.
I try to play serious scenes a little funny and the comedy a little serious.
Mr. Chow: It's funny because he's fat!
Hans Gruber: [after bad guys hit police ram with rocket] [in radio to bad guys] Hans Gruber: Hit it, again. John McClane: [in radio to Hans] Hans you motherfucker, you made your point! Let them pull back! Hans Gruber: [in radio to McClaine] Thank you...
Karen: [narrating] After awhile, it got to be all normal. None of it seemed like crime. It was more like Henry was enterprising, and that he and the guys were making a few bucks hustling, while all the other guys were sitting on their asses, waiting ...
Rebecca: See that guy over there? Enid: Which one? Rebecca: The blonde guy over there. [Enid spots him and rolls her eyes] Rebecca: He gives me, like, a total boner. Enid: He's, like, the biggest idiot of all time. Reggae Fan: [walking past with his ...
Nice Guy Eddie: What happened to Brown and Blue? Mr. Pink: Brown's dead. We dont know what happened to Blue. Nice Guy Eddie: Brown's dead? Are you sure? Mr. White: Im sure. I was there. He took one in the head. Nice Guy Eddie: Nobody's got a clue wha...
Nice Guy Eddie: The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose. Mr. White: Was he all pissed off? Nice Guy Eddie: How would you fe...
Detective Greenly: [giving his theory about the two dead Russians in the alley] This guy takes a blunt object, fuckin', waah! Hits the guy with the bandages around his head, right? Why? 'Cause he's smart. He knows the guy with the bandages around his...
Guys who would make fun of girls for sexual inexperience are terrible people, and when girls do it to other girls it feels even shittier. Guys who shame girls who haven't had sex want them to feel like they aren't doing their job, which is to be sexu...
Elvis: [Sloe grabs Slevin by the throat and moves him into the living room] The Boss wants to see you. Slevin: Who? Sloe: The Boss. Slevin: Who's the Boss? Sloe: The guy we work for. Slevin: [Sloe let's go of Slevin's throat] Jesus! Elvis: Come here ...
Jokes are many things. 'Funny' is only one of them.
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny.
