I think I really thought I was a boy until I was ten years old because my parents divorced when I was born, and so my three brothers were almost like my fathers growing up. So they taught me how to ride a bike and all that stuff. I really was just ki...
I do this a lot with names. I'll start with a name, and then for some reason he won't talk much, or he's older than I pictured him just because of a name I give him. So then I finally get the right name, and I can't shut the guy up. This always happe...
There's been times where I sold the place out, and I walked in and the guy's like, 'Uh, ID?' 'No, you can't ID me, man. I just sold this place out.' People are just doing their jobs, but I think if you're working the door at a venue where there's a h...
I'm naturally shy, so the social media thing is new to me. I haven't really figured out how my voice sounds on social media, you know? I don't want to tweet everyday just for the sake of tweeting. I want to make sure whatever I do there is honest. So...
The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, b...
Sillman looked at his interrogator with hopeless eyes. 'I think while I was passed out, I dreamed about my mom's gingerbread cookies. Maybe the guy who knocked on the glass was eatin' one.' 'Mm,' said Peace-not-War. 'Well. That's helpful. We'll put a...
Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, which was just to...wait. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a ...
I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of something because the guy I'm talking to makes better sense than I am. I have so many points of view, I can't keep track of 'em, because I talk to too many p...
Lennie Pike: [after Smiler Grogan literally kicks the bucket] That guy's dead. You better believe it. Benjy Benjamin: Oh, I believe it all right, but if he jumps up again like he did before, I'm gonna get the hell out of here.
Mac MacGuff: Whats that thing? Vanessa Loring: It's a Pilates machine. Mac MacGuff: What do you make with it? Vanessa Loring: Oh you don't make anything with it, its for exercise. Mac MacGuff: Oh. My wife ordered one of those Tony Little Gazelles off...
Young John Reilly: Hey, uh, Father. How long did it take him? You know, paintin' the ceiling and all? Father Bobby: Took him about nine years. Young John Reilly: Nine years? Father Bobby: That's right. Young John Reilly: [laugh] For a ceiling? I had ...
I got my story, my dream, from America. The hero I had is Forrest Gump... I like that guy. I've been watching that movie about 10 times. Every time I get frustrated, I watch the movie. I watched the movie before I came here again to New York. I watch...
Writing a book is a long and difficult process for me. I'm a slow writer, so I spend the year with Elvis Cole and Joe Pike in my head. I was thinking about this the other day. I wrote the first book in 1987. Literally every day since that time, Elvis...
Teen #1: You guys holding? Jay: Shit, everything but coke, heroin and your cock. Teen #2: What? Teen #1: How 'bout a nickel bag, man? Jay: [singing] Oh, fifteen bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. Nong, nong, ning-a ning-a nong nong! Teen #1...
Ace Rothstein: [voice-over] No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him, beca...
Vinny Forlano: He won't talk. Stone is a good kid. Stand-up guy, just like his old man. That's the way I see it. Vincent Borelli: I agree. He's solid. A fuckin' Marine. Americo Capelli: He's okay. He always was. Remo, what do you think? Remo Gaggi: L...
Ace Rothstein: [voice-over; notices a couple of card counters] Now here's this guy reading the dealer's whole card and signaling his buddy at this table. [the signaler, using a small telegraph, types a morse code to his friend at the other table] Ace...
Convenience Store Clerk: [Powell with an armload of Twinkies] I thought you guys just ate doughnuts. Sergeant Al Powell: Heh. They're for my wife. Convenience Store Clerk: [sarcastically] Yeah. Sergeant Al Powell: She's pregnant. Convenience Store Cl...
The Chechen: Joker-man, what you do with all your money? The Joker: You see, I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline! [he pours gasoline on the mountain of cash] The Chechen: [panicked] What the...? The Joker: Ah-ta-t...
Harvey Dent: Well, I guess no answer is a no. Rachel Dawes: Harvey... Harvey Dent: It's someone else, isn't it? Rachel Dawes: Harvey... Harvey Dent: Just tell me it's not Wayne, the guy's a complete... [Bruce comes up behind him and grabs him in a ch...
Lewis: Now you listen, Ed. Damn it, we can get out of this thing, without any questions asked. We get connected up with that body, and the law, this thing's gonna be hangin' over us the rest of our lives. We've gotta get rid of that guy. Drew: Just h...
