Nemo age 16: [to Harry] It will happen on a Saturday. You will be behind the wheel of your car, you are whistling. You do not see the crossroads. All of a sudden, a train will hit from your left and you will be crushed. Nemo's Mother: You're not funn...
Santa: [singing] Release me now or you'll have to face the dire consequences. / The children are expecting me, so please come to your senses. Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're jokin', you're jokin'! / I can't believe my ears! / Would someone shut th...
[Trying to start Layla's car] Billy Brown: Is this a shifter car? I cannot drive a shifter car, alright, so we got a little situation here. I can't drive these kinda cars! What the fuck is goin' on! You think that's funny? Would you like to know, sma...
Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some m...
Science Fiction properly conceived, like all serious fiction, however funny, is a way of trying to describe what is going on, what people actually do and feel, how people relate to everything else in this vast sack, this belly of the universe, this w...
We need a country literally full of cat guys and cat girls, bikers, politicians, clergy, and everyone in between, in order to keep millions from dying without homes.
Nowadays, ads don't just sell a product. They sell an attitude! Look at this one! Here's a cool guy saying nobody tells him what to do. He does whatever he wants and he buys this product as a reflection of that independence. So basically, this maveri...
It's chemical, fancying him is purely chemical. It's intoxicating - the frisson, the attraction - it's intoxicating because it's purely chemical. But you'll just have to remember the wedding ring - divorcees don't wear wedding rings. This guy has his...
What a woman’s heart looks like is far more valuable than what she looks like on the outside. Often guys look for outer beauty, but it proves to be deceptive and fleeting. There are many men who marry for a woman's good looks and years down the roa...
Our hunters come from a diversified set of beliefs, but work together toward one goal. And we’re the best at what we do.” “But you guys were at the church.” Jayden shrugged. “Father Bancroft is an area leader, so the church is our base, but...
She had searched for just the right guy; sensitive and gentle and willing to wait. Quite a long search, of course. She was looking for some imaginary man who cared more about having someone to talk to and see movies with than he needed to have sex, b...
Ames clucked his tongue, “You know, not all of us are so evil minded. You’ve just met the wrong ones.” He meant guys. “You’re all the same.” I should know. “Not all of us,” he said too soft but I heard. “But judgment before proven c...
I bought an oxygen tank, because with the global population at over seven billion people and rising, what if the world were to suddenly run out of air? And while the people will be suffocating, I’ll be the only guy prepared to pillage and loot.
Now I have a guy trying to change me and I don’t want to be changed, yet I keep hanging in there, hoping that he learns to like what he sees. Isn't that the prime definition of insanity, repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a differ...
Do you guys have sunscreen?” I ask. “No,” Scottie says. “Do we have water?” “Did you bring any?” Alex asks. “No,” I say. Alex pops her head up. “Did you bring snacks for us?” “We can walk to town.” How do mothers manage to b...
That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy." Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things." But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror." I think I saw that ...
Sure, some news is bigger news than other news. War is bigger news than a girl having mixed feelings about the way some guy fucked her and didn't call. But I don't believe in a finite economy of empathy; I happen to think that paying attention yields...
Who art thou? Are you art, or a guy named Art? Doesn’t matter. What does matter is, Are you for sale?
I met my girlfriend at a bar. But I broke up with her because she was already there, hitting on another guy.
I met a guy who had an interesting job. He was a meat cutter, or a meat slicer, something like that. I probably butchered his job title.
I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
