Most men, no matter how well or badly dressed, carry overstuffed, beat up wallets that should have been replaced years ago. Why is that? Every time I see a guy take out a wallet anywhere, it looks like a piece of old melted chocolate cake-with string...
First cab driver: That'll be $2.90. Melville Crump: Okay, here's $3.00. Wait for us, okay? First cab driver: [sarcastically] Oh sure. Melville Crump: Wise guy.
When I have a difficult decision to make, I imagine myself as a 90-year-old guy looking back on his life. I imagine what I'll think about myself at that point in time, and it always makes it really easy to go for it. You're only going to regret that ...
I started in the mailroom, literally, as an intern... in 1974. The legislator I was working for at the time said, 'I want you to get your law degree and come back here and get elected and be the first woman governor.' I kind of took that guy seriousl...
The Writer: The freight woke up the other guys and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about the deer. But I didn't. That was the one thing I kept to myself. I've never spoken or written about it until just now.
Joker: Bob, I want you to go down to the globe. Follow that reporter Knox. Take your camera. See what he knows about this Batman. And Bob... [imitates Grisson] Joker: Remember... you... are my number one... guy!
Beetlejuice: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little *action*.
Mason: You know, Jim, you're not my dad. Jim: No, I'm not your dad. You know how I know that? 'Cause I'm actually here. I'm the guy with the job, payin' the bills, takin' care of you, your mom, your sister.
I mean, it's not just one day you get up, bang, and you got Osama bin Laden. It's the kind of thing where an awful lot of people over a long period of time - thousands have worked this case and these issues and followed on the leads and captured bad ...
I knew I wanted to be an actor for a long time, but I was based out of Chicago and then I went to New York and I did 'The Upright Citizens Brigade' out there. I had a two-man show with a guy named Oliver Ralli who's now in the band Pass Kontrol, whic...
I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.
I play characters. I don't think I really have a persona per se. I don't play the same guy every time. I show up, you don't know what I'm gonna do. I like it that way. I've intentionally tried to do it that way. I think that's what's interesting.
Could I have worked under a system where there were Draconian controls on my creativity, meaning budget, time, script choices, etc.? Definitely not. I would have fared poorly under the old studio system that guys like Howard Hawks did so well in. I c...
I was influenced by a lot of stand-up comedians... Eddie Murphy back when he was doing 'Raw.' I watched that so many times as a kid, I can probably still quote the entire thing to this day. Chris Rock. Dave Chappelle. George Carlin. A lot of the guys...
A common misperception of me is... that I am a tough, rough northerner, which I suppose I am really. But I'm pretty mild-mannered most of the time. It's the parts that you play I guess. I don't mind it. I'm not a tough guy. I'd like to act as a fair,...
The only way the gender divide affected me was the social things the younger guy executives could do with their bosses. I don't know what went on in the clubs, because I didn't go. I made sure my work was stellar, and that compensated for whatever so...
There are as many attitudes to cooking as there are people cooking, of course, but I do think that cooking guys tend - I am a guilty party here - to take, or get, undue credit for domestic virtue, when in truth cooking is the most painless and, in it...
Well, to tell you the straight honest truth, it was like a Grateful Dead cover band. I didn't feel - and nothing against the guys - I didn't feel that they were opening up like they should. I'll tell you what, with guitar players, Steven has what I l...
George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So...
Hannah: I'm here to bang the hot guy who hit on me at the bar. Jacob: Jacob. Hannah: Jacob! Sorry, Jacob... Jacob: Do people still say "bang"? Hannah: I do. And we're gonna bang!
[Spike picks up military jets pursuing him on the Swordfish's radar] Spike: Oh, great. A bored little army. [the jets begin to fire] Spike: Listen, I don't have time to screw around with you guys!
