Quotes of: Funny-guy Keyword

I really wasn't sure if I wanted this guy knowing where I lived. After all, he was wielding a baseball bat, and I had just seen him strike several people with that bat.

Ink

Tell this guy to eat a hundred-calorie pack of dicks.

I Like You Just the Way I Am: Stories About Me and Some Other People

Tucker, please put him down," said Annie. "You're frightening Jackson." "He's not," said Jackson. "It's cool. I don't like that guy anyway. Punch him, Dad.

Juliet, Naked

Guys like you can't escape the city. Hell, you a got a blood contract with this place. You're married to the old girl.

Kiss Her Goodbye: An Otto Penzler Book

You couldn't be romantic if your life depended on it." "You know what's lucky? Most bad guys don't ask you to be romantic on command, so that probably won't matter.

Kiss of Death

AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things? -Sergeant Schlock

Resident Mad Scientist

Guys willing to hold your dick are a dime a dozen; save your hearts for the one who wants to hold your hand.

Silver Shorts 2012, Week 12

I want to know what it feels like to kiss a guy. And you've had a lot of practice, so I know you're a good kisser. Are you simultaneously complimenting me and calling me a whore?

Shock & Awe

The spell...curled around...like smoke before settling in. Sophie: "Okay, do you guys feel protected?" Archer: "Yes. Also a little violated, but that's neither here nor there.

Spell Bound

Honor, obey?" Gisbourne shouted, grappling with John. "This is what you call being a good wife?" I stopped. "I never said I'd be a good wife, Guy. Just that I'd marry you.

Scarlet

You traitorous bitch!" he yelled. "You goddamn liar!" I laughed. "You knew I were a bitch and a liar when you married me, Guy. It's your own damn fault for agreeing to it.

Scarlet

This guy was a class act. And that class was Acting 101. If I were the professor, I’d have given him an F—for murder.

Seven Sisters Sinister Murder Mystery Dinner

With this guy, two words come to mind: Probable murderer. But since he was the bartender, another word comes to mind: Understandable.

Seven Sisters Sinister Murder Mystery Dinner

If a couple of gay guys want to throw the gayest, most fabulous wedding of all time, the only way it should offend you is if you weren’t invited.

Stop Being a F***ing Idiot

Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

That guy in the corner. Never tells the truth, as a matter of principle. Why answer a question, he says, if you can tell a good story instead?

McCarthy's Bar: A Journey of Discovery In Ireland

There are lots of guys out there who write a better prose line than I do and who have a better understanding of what people are really like and what humanity is supposed to mean – hell, I know that.

Misery

At the dawn of the second decade of the Twenty First Century, masculinity has been rendered so self-conscious in our mediated, mirrored world that even ‘regular guys’ are apparently just a fashion fad – this season’s accessory.

Metrosexy

The guys can't take their eyes off Colleen... one of them... probably sees her just like I do, she's the gatekeeper to another world.

Now Playing: Stoner & Spaz II

You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping up.

Necromancing the Stone

It wasn’t like she hadn’t come across hot guys throughout the course of the last three years, so why was her heart racing? Why did she feel flushed?

Naked Truth