Quotes of: Funny-guy Keyword

If you're getting chased by a lion, you don't need to run faster than the lion, just the people running with you. - Tim Ferris

Do You Talk Funny? 7 Comedy Habits to Become a Better (and Funnier) Public Speaker

I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny business. If it's to be my head on the block, I want to know that it's doing there, and not that it's some stupid things that other people have done.

Every Man Dies Alone

Facebook is big. Bigger than Justin Bieber or Ashton Kutcher's Twitter following. Hell, it's even bigger than obesity and possibly just as lethal!

The Facebook Diet: 50 Funny Signs of Facebook Addiction and Ways to Unplug with a Digital Detox

Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of "I think I'm a loser," try "I definitely am a loser." Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a lo...

The Funny Thing Is...

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

155 World's Funniest Yo Mama Dirty Jokes: Yo Mama Funny, Dirty, Filthy Joke Book For Adults - Uncensored edition

There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was...

$3.33

[She] had occasionally glimpsed a series of interchangeable well-groomed blondes accompanying him to work events, then Grace had rocked up with her funny-coloured hair and her funny-coloured tights, and Vaughn had been smitten. Well, as smitten as Va...

It Felt Like a Kiss

I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

I don't-" I shake my head. (...) "What? What were you going to say?" This is another trick of shrinks. They never let you stop in midthought. If you open your mouth, they want to know exactly what you had the intention of saying.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

It's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. ... you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

You want to play video games twenty-four hours a day?" "Or watch. I just want to not be me. Whether it's sleeping or playing video games or riding my bike or studying. Giving my brain up. That's what's important.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

You all right, man?' This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man. Ah...' I stumble. Don't bug Craig,' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

We look into each other's eyes as we shake. His are still full of death and horror, but in them I see my face reflected, and inside my tiny eyes inside his, I think I see some hope.

It's Kind of a Funny Story

This is so funny,” said Ellen, noticing the seating arrangement. “Isn’t this funny? Tom, come sit next to Robin. Griffin, sit next to Laura.” I stood up and sat next to Robin while Griffin brought his chair over to Laura. “That’s better,�...

Minor Snobs

If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream.

The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.

The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brillia...

Andy Cohen

Carbohydrate is the bad guy. You have to see that.

Robert Atkins

I'm very much inclined to be a next-chapter guy instead of a last-chapter guy.

Roy Blunt

I'm always playing the nice guy in most of the projects that I do.

Sean Patrick Thomas

Buddy Guy finally got a break and made it. And Buddy Guy deserves it.

Luther Allison