Bumper Sticker Guy: [running after Forrest] Hey man! Hey listen, I was wondering if you might help me. 'Cause I'm in the bumper sticker business and I've been trying to think of a good slogan, and since you've been such a big inspiration to the peopl...
Henry Hill: [narrating] Now the guy's got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with the bill? He can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy's gotta come up with Paulie's mo...
[In a cafe, a shy young man has just given them a flyer, telling him that his band is playing there on Friday night] Enid: God, what a dork. Rebecca: You're just jealous. Enid: Trust me, at this point I'm past the fact that every single guy likes you...
Hogarth Hughes: Hey, I thought you were in trouble. I had this weird guy following me around, it took me hours to shake him, I kill myself getting out here, and you have him doing... arts and crafts. Dean McCoppin: You have a problem with arts and cr...
Jimmy Serrano: I thought you said this guy was gonna be on the plane. Tony Darvo: That's the information we got. Jimmy Serrano: "That's the information we got." I'm gonna tell you something. I want this guy taken out, and I want him taken out fast. Y...
The Wolf: Strip. Jules: All the way? The Wolf: To your bare ass. Vincent: Is this necessary? The Wolf: Yes. You know what you guys look like? Jules: What? The Wolf: Like a couple of guys who just blew off somebody's head! [to Jimmie] The Wolf: Now Ji...
Dutch: Mac, Any sign of the other hostages. Sergeant Mac Eliot: Found the other hostage he's dead too. If these guys are Central Americans then I'm a God damn Chinaman. from the looks of things our Cabinet Minister was CIA. Another thing Major those ...
Patrick: There's this one guy, queer as a 3 dollar bill. The guy's father doesn't know about his son. So, he comes into the basement one night when he's supposed to be out of town. Catches his son with another boy, so he starts beating him. But not l...
Crash: This song is called "I Am So Sad. I Am So Very Very Sad." It goes like this. Crash: [the song last only a couple of seconds] Thank you. Wallace Wells: [yelling out] It's not a race, guys! Crash: [annoyed] Ok this next song goes out to the guy ...
Bryan Callen: Tommy Riordan's captured the media's attention, but the question still remains: who is this guy? And more importantly, can he compete in this talent pool? Can he win? Sam Sheridan: I wish I knew, Bryan. I wish I knew who he was, and I'v...
William Miller: [on meeting Stillwater] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. An...
Hiro: Actually, if we're going to catch this guy, I need to upgrade all of you. Wasabi: Upgrade who now? Baymax: Those that suffer a loss require support from friends and loved ones. Fred: [laughs excitedly] Oh-ho yeah, I like where this is heading.....
Bender: Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty. Claire: No thank you. Bender: How does he ride a bike? Bender: Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this? Claire: Can't you ...
[Yakavetta wants to call in Il Duce] Augustus DiStephano: Your father and I used him three times in twenty years, only when things got totally fucked. Whenever we needed one of our own bumped off, we called this guy in. He had a thing for clipping wi...
The light clicks on, right above my head, drawing my eyes to it. The moment I look up, squinting, I know I’m in trouble. There isn’t even a guy leaning against the corner, trying to play bad cop. There isn’t a guy smiling and offering me a cup ...
I need to give you one last bit of advice in the off chance this rather extraordinary and enviable situation in which you find yourself is actually true- that somehow you've fallen deep down into a Cordova story. I stared back at him. Be the good guy...
Grady Fuson: Artie, who do you like? Art Howe: I like Perez. He's got a classy swing, its a real clean stroke. Scout Barry: He can't hit a curve ball. Art Howe: Yea, there's some work to be done, I'll admit that. Scout Barry: Yea there is. Art Howe: ...
[Doug walks into an AA meeting and a speaker is sharing his story] Eskimo Story Speaker: The loss, you know what I mean? The... the disappointment in yourself. The anger that turns into disappointment. The despair. Like the guy who's sittin' at the b...
You know I love you,' said the other mother flatly. 'You have a very funny way of showing it,' said Coraline.
Jocko likes salty, Jocko likes sweet, but never bring Jocko any hot sauce, like with jalapenos, because it makes Jocko squirt funny-smelling stuff out his ears.
I can write about all of these bizarre and funny characters in my book, "Diggin' Elroy," because I know them better than anyone else. I have a little bit of all of them in me.
