Mary Elizabeth: Alright guys, I got multiple pairs of blue jeans. Wow, this is a really tough one but I'm gonna have to guess Alice. Wait! Guys, a receipt! She actually paid! I'm so touched.
Rosco: What's your name? Don Lockwood: Don Lockwood sir, but the fellas all call me Donald. Rosco: Wise guy, eh? All right, get this guy into Bert's suit! And remember Lockwood, you might be trading that fiddle in for a harp!
Detective Hal Vukovich: That guy Silberman cracks me up. Last week, he had this guy in here that burned his Afghan. He screwed it first and then he set it on fire... Lieutenant Ed Traxler: [interrupts] Hey, shut up.
I don't know, but I always loved that image of a girl putting toenail polish on a guy - her boyfriend, or something like that. Or a guy waking up in the morning and reaching over and putting on his girlfriend's shirt. Like Keith Richards putting on o...
Let's say you would see me in a lot more big movies had I done movies that I'd been asked to do playing bad guys. Now that I have a child on the way, I think that you'll probably be seeing me play more bad guys. If that's what's going to put bread on...
The Priest: Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason? [of Rocco, who's holding him at gunpoint] Paul Smecker: No, they would never do that. Well, the two Irish guys wouldn't, the Italian guy, he might, he's kind of an idiot.
[seeing the nine dead Russian mobsters that the masked men killed] Rocco: Boy, you guys sure did a good job. Ah shit, you guys are good huh? Cool masks. Where'd you get 'em?
The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they've had minor leagues - they've had local rightwing guys who've become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that's how it goes. We haven't had that. It isn't like we h...
It's just this little comedy about this group of guys, and their local hangout is a pool hall, and it's starting to get taken over by this big corporate, evil kind of guy. And it's just about them trying to save the day and their little pool hall in ...
For 'King Cole's American Salvage,' I rode around in the wrecker with a local driver and watched him deal with customers and hook up the cars. I watched the guy who tore apart the cars in the junkyard. I also wrote poems about those guys. I loved han...
I consider myself a green party supporter...because green represents my favorite color other than clear. And I met a guy who was running for the green party this one time, and he seemed like he had a great head on his shoulders for a homeless guy.
It's funny how despair can soon become an old companion
The world is in trouble because of a few funny sympathetic philosophers
If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
It's funny how things seem different, suddenly.
As soon as you say it about a record, you're like some little zombie in a funny dungeon.
Fat people are funny … until obesity pays your loved one a visit.
I think I am a star - I'm simply a funny-shaped star.
I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for.
My company is known for being funny as well as moving. You get a bit of everything in these shows. I think people know they're going to have a surprising experience.
There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood.
