A toast" I yelled, climbing onto a chair. On my way to the top, I stole someone's beer and held it out in front of me. "To douche bags!" I said gesturing to Brad. "And to girls that break your heart." I bowed to Abby. My throat tightened. "And to the...
One of the things I do take some pride in is that if you had never read an article about my life, if you knew nothing about me, except that my books were being set in front of you to read, and if you were to read those books in sequence, I don't thin...
No," interrupted Marcia emphatically. "And you're a sweet boy. Come here and kiss me." Horace stopped quickly in front of her. "Why do you want me to kiss you?" he asked intently. "Do you just go round kissing people?" "Why, yes," admitted Marcia, un...
Well, writing novels is incredibly simple: an author sits down…and writes. Granted, most writers I know are a bit strange. Some, downright weird. But then again, you’d have to be. To spend hundreds and hundreds of hours sitting in front of a comp...
Writing is a muscle. Smaller than a hamstring and slightly bigger than a bicep, and it needs to be exercised to get stronger. Think of your words as reps, your paragraphs as sets, your pages as daily workouts. Think of your laptop as a machine like t...
When I was growing up, I was teased for being too skinny. I went to summer camp when I was 11. I wore shorts, and the nurse said to me, in front of all my friends, that I was anorexic and that she had to monitor me to make sure I was eating. Because ...
We laugh at sheep because sheep just follow the one in front. We humans have out-sheeped the sheep, because at least the sheep need a sheep dog to keep them in line. Humans keep each other in line. And they do it by ridiculing or condemning anyone wh...
Harris, as he occasionally explains to George and to myself, has daughters of his own, or, to speak more correctly, a daughter, who as the years progress will no doubt cease practising catherine wheels in the front garden , and will grow up into a be...
I've always been a singer in my mind. Fronting a band is something I've never done because I've always done other things. It's something I want to do, and the more I do it, the more and more it feels very natural. I've always been a little timid and ...
[Explaining the facts of life to his son] Ben Hood: On the self-abuse front - and this is important - I don't think it's advisable to do it in the shower. It wastes water and electricity and because we all expect you to be doing it there in any case....
Pedrosa: What's up? Why do you want to know about our case? Fanning: Any unusual activity tonight? Pedrosa: Like what? Fanning: That relates to a series of murders in Wilshire Central or West Hollywood? Pedrosa: All quiet on the western front. Variou...
Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols. Audrey: We're...
David Kleinfeld: Hey Louie... Louie, your fuckin' chick's givin' you a handjob right in front of everybody. I got guests here, for christsake. People are eating. Louie: Take it easy, Dave. David Kleinfeld: No-you take it easy. You got any manners? Yo...
Hans: The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec. In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement......
Taxi Driver: Right there's the town hall. Right over there's the old fire station. Played a lot of checkers over there, sure did. All this land's gonna be covered with water - best thing ever happened to this town. [a truck in front of the cab is car...
Tsuyako Yamashita: Look after him. Daigo's a dear boy. He takes it all on himself. When his folks split up, he'd never cry in front of his Mum. But he would when he was alone in that bath. The poor little thing, his shoulder's shaking... So thats how...
[Patrick knocks on Joel's car window while parked in front of Clem's apartment] Joel: Yes? Patrick: Can I help you? Joel: What do you mean? Patrick: Can I help you with something? Joel: No. Patrick: What are you doing here? Joel: I'm not really sure ...
Dr. Peter Venkman: [steps in front of Peck] My friend, don't be a jerk! Walter Peck: If he does that again, you can shoot him. Police Captain: You do your job, pencil neck, don't tell me how to do mine! Dr. Peter Venkman: Thank you, Officer. Walter P...
Harry: Why do they have to travel in packs? And how are you supposed to get one on their own to ask them? [Stops in front of a group of girls, hesitates, then continues walking] Ron: Blimey, Harry. You've slayed dragons. If you can't get a date, who ...
Laurie: Tommy unlock the door! Come here, now you listen to me. I want you to go down the stairs, and out the front door. I want you to go down the street to the Mackenzie's house. I want you to tell them to call the police and tell them to send them...
Manfred: Okay, listen, if either of you two can make it across that sinkhole in front of you, the sloth is yours. Sid: That's right, you losers! You take one step and you're dead. [Sid throws a rock, which bounces across the "sinkhole" without leavin...
