Judge Doom: [while putting on a large black rubber glove] Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make Toons respect... [lets the glove snap back onto his arm] Judge D...
Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector. Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chan...
Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee. Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking i...
Smart Ass: Hey Judge, what should we do with the wallflower? [referring to Eddie who is now visible through the hole in the wall] Judge Doom: [holding Roger by the neck] We'll settle with him later. Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bri...
Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife. Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant & Valiant. E...
Judge Doom: Have they got the will or not? Smart Ass: Nah, just a stupid love letter. Judge Doom: No matter. I doubt the will'll show up in the next fifteen minutes, anyway. Eddie Valiant: What happens in the next fifteen minutes? Judge Doom: Toontow...
Benny the Cab: Well, fellas, where can I drop you? Roger Rabbit: Somewhere we can hide. Benny the Cab: I've got just the place. And incidentally, if you should ever need a ride, just stick out your thumb. Hey! Share the road, will ya, lady?
Marvin Acme: Over here, Jessica. I have everything ready. Right here, on the bed. Jessica Rabbit: Oh, not now, Marvin. I have a headache. Marvin Acme: But Jessica, you promised. Jessica Rabbit: Oh, all right. But this time, take off that hand buzzer.
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no! Where's Roger? Eddie Valiant: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio. Jessica Rabbit: No, he didn't. I hit him over the head with a frying pan and stuck him in the trunk. So he wouldn't get hurt. Eddie Valiant: Makes...
Humor expands our limited picture frame and gets us to see more than just our problem.
Cinema is a matter of what's in the frame and what's out.
It is a good principle in science not to believe any 'fact'---however well attested---until it fits into some accepted frame of reference. Occasionally, of course, an observation can shatter the frame and force the construction of a new one, but that...
[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains] Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was? Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit. Daffy Duck: Or a duck. Goofy: Or a dog. Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy. Big Bad Wolf: Or...
Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is? Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP! Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity thro...
Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway. Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway? Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimm...
Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the... [bottle falls on his head] Roger Rabbit: Nose! Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls." Eddie Valiant: No,...
Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit. [Roger gasps] Eddie Valiant: Ya see? Judge Doom: Where? Angelo: He's right here in the bar. [puts his arm around Harvey the Invisible Rabbit] Angelo: Say hello... Harvey. [the whole bar erupts in laughter] Roger Rabbit: ...
Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackerth, but you are dethpicable Donald F. Duck: Doggone stubborn little- That did it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Daffy Duck: Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone with a th-peech impediment. Donald F. Du...
Benny the Cab: Ah, that's better. I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk. Roger Rabbit: Come on, Eddie, get in! Benny the Cab: It was only a couple of MILES. Eddie Valiant: I'll drive. Roger Rabbit: But I wanna drive. Benny the...
Judge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit... [goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget squats] Judge Doom: Dolores: Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here harrassing my customers. Jud...
Bullet #1: What in Sam Hill? Bullet #2: Eddie Valiant! Why, you're a sight for sore eyes. Bullet #1: I ain't seen you nigh onto five years. Bullet #2: Where've you been? Eddie Valiant: Drunk. You feeling frisky tonight, fellas? Bullet #1, Bullet #2:...
